You are here: Home / Archives for Blog / Happier Living

Mother’s Day Love Circle

May 12, 2013 By Leave a Comment
Pin It

bigstock-Yellow-daisy-flower-isolated-o-15795581

 

I’ve been writing every Sunday since, oh, the dawn of time (Internet time, at least) and some of those Sundays have also been Mother’s Day.

Last year, I wrote my own version of Lean In, I guess, with What Working Moms Really Want.  I just re-read this one and I really like it. Perhaps that’s a funny thing to say, but I don’t often go back and read things I’ve written.

With me and writing it’s totally catch and release.

In 2011, I imagined what an Empty Nest Mother’s Day would be like. I’m getting closer and closer to that reality today, and while I caught this one, it’s harder and harder to release with each passing day.

I asked Who’s A Mom? in 2010, which I consider my love letter to everyone – both men and women – who reach out and help children.

“With every kindness to a child, you create a better world,” I said then, and I mean it still.

Then in 2009, I repeated a column from 2007 simply called “Mother’s Day”, where I suggested we celebrate every holiday every single day.

Somehow that brilliant idea didn’t really catch fire.

In the sandwich year there, 2008, I wrote about busyness (it must have been in context of my own situation) with Repeal HAFTA.

And in May, 2006, I was a few months away from starting to blog so the words were still in my head and heart, unreleased.

What a journey. What an experience. What richness.

And right now I’m talking about my 20+ years of mothering two wonderful people who inspire me every day to step up, be present and be fully myself.

Because when I am able to do that, they are able to do so, too. It’s a love circle, baby.

And, believe me, I get so much more than I give.

Oh, people, I am truly blessed. May you find blessings, too – full with love and acceptance – in each and every one of your days.

 

Pin It
Filed Under: Authenticity, Blog, Clarity, Happier Living Tagged With: , , , , , Leave a Comment

Batting .500

May 5, 2013 By 2 Comments
Pin It

 

I mentioned this blog post to a friend the other day and thought perhaps you’d like to read it, too. From November, 2010:

The other day I posted on Facebook:

Facebook snip 2

From the comments posted in response, to-do lists seem to be the bane of existence for quite a few of us. Don’t like ‘em, but can’t live this modern life without ‘em.

As I lay me down to sleep, though, I looked back on my troublesome to-do list and realized that of the six items on the list, I had completed three. Fifty percent. How did I feel about that? Was it “good enough”?

Well.

If I were a baseball player and hit the ball as well as I completed my to-do list, I’d be batting .500. I’d be in the Hall of Fame. With my own display case. Because even the all-time best hitters never crack .400.

Ty Cobb .366

Babe Ruth .342

Lou Gehrig .340

Albert Pujols .334

Stan “The Man” Musial .331

And, drum roll please, Michele Woodward – .500.

Not too shabby.

To tell the truth, I could even pump up my average a little bit. Because after I created my to-do list, I asked the four questions that have become my to-do list mantra:

  • Does this task have to be done at all?
  • Do I have to do it now?
  • What’s the impact if I do this later?
  • Am I really the best person to do this task?

By asking myself these questions, I immediately eliminated one item (didn’t really need to be done) and asked my so-much-taller-than-me 17 year old son to do one thing (replace the porch light bulbs – after assuring him it would certainly count as community service on his college application).

The stuff I didn’t get done? I’ll do it today. Because today is such a better time to get it done (see Questions Two and Three).

The challenge for some of us is that last question – Am I really the best person to do this task? I don’t know about you, but sometimes I feel a little queasy answering “nope”. We’ve all got our pride, right? And although we discussed the importance of showing vulnerability last week, discussing vulnerability doesn’t magically make doing it all that easy.  However, when you look at your values – what’s really important to you – then sometimes asking someone else to take on a task becomes less of a big deal.

For instance, I have a real value around helping my kids become independent adults. Adults need to know how to change light bulbs, don’t they? Therefore, tasking my son with this to-do is really teaching him an important life skill! [Which I will remind him. Repeatedly.]

At work, too, when the issues are larger than light bulbs, these questions come into play.  Are you a true mentor? Then let the kid have a shot. Are you a real leader? Then you better share the load. Are you a top producer? Then quadruple your production by adding more hands to the job.

And if you are one of Those People who look at fifty percent completion as fifty percent failure, then let me remind you of this:

For every three times he was at bat, Babe Ruth got out twice. And under his picture in the Hall of Fame is the caption: Sultan of Swat.

So relax with your to-do list. Remember to ask yourself those four questions. Then, step inside the batter’s box, take a few swings to limber up, and keep your eye on the ball all the way to the plate. Trust me, you will swing and miss. There will be a foul tip or two. But, from time to time, you’ll connect and hit it out of the park.

Bang – you’re in The To-Do List Hall of Fame, baby.

 

 

 

Pin It
Filed Under: Blog, Career Coaching, Clarity, Getting Unstuck, Happier Living, WiseWork Tagged With: , , , , , 2 Comments

One Tough Week

April 21, 2013 By 3 Comments
Pin It

bigstock-Sea-landscape-with-bad-weather-25526582

There have been tough weeks in the past. And it’s likely that there will be tough weeks in the future. But, boy, this week?

This was one tough week.

Boston.

West, Texas.

Capitol Hill.

China.

It’s been overwhelming. And, you know what? I’m not going to try to make you feel better by writing a bunch of “look on the bright side” platitudes.

Nope.

Instead, I’m going to say: “It really was a tough week – one of the toughest. Why not treat yourself as you would treat anyone you love who’s had a tough week?”

Oh, you might want to close your eyes, stick your fingers in your ears, say “Naa, naa, naa, I can’t hear you” and pretend it didn’t happen (I’ve tried it, trust me).

But you can’t change reality. And neither can I.

All we can do is acknowledge the shock, pain, and loss, and be good to ourselves.

For me, that looks like time with family, time in the garden, time alone with a book. Getting back to my center.

Because I know that restorative energy and peace come when you’re at center.

And, of course, let’s be kind to others, because you’re not alone in this bad week. Not at all. In fact, we’re all in this together.

Together, standing at the side of the road clapping  and cheering for those who would run toward rather than run away.

[OK, maybe that's inspiration. Can't help myself, I guess.]

May peace find you – find us all – in ways both large and small.

 

Pin It
Filed Under: Authenticity, Blog, Clarity, Getting Unstuck, Happier Living, Managing Change, WiseWork Tagged With: , , , , , , 3 Comments

Do What’s Right

April 14, 2013 By 2 Comments
Pin It

Jackie Robinson

 

On August 28, 1945, a man made a choice. He had to decide between doing what was conventional or doing what was right.

That Tuesday,  Branch Rickey did what was right, and hired Jackie Robinson to play for a minor league ball club associated with the legendary Brooklyn Dodgers.

I recently saw the new movie “42″ about this pivotal moment, and highly recommend it to you. It’s inspiring, and beautifully made, with outstanding performances from Harrison Ford as Rickey and Chadwick Boseman as Robinson.

And the message I kept returning to was the strength of character these two men showed.

Robinson, an educated UCLA man who had served as a Lieutenant in World War II, had to take the abuse heaped upon him and not react – because an angry reaction might doom integration of baseball.

Rickey, a die-hard baseball fan and hard-nosed business man, had to hold on to his vision of a future where baseball was integrated despite the intense opposition he faced.

Why did they do such a hard thing?

They did it because sometimes you just have to do what’s right.

Despite the backlash,  threats and challenges, Robinson and Rickey knew that doing the right thing always pays off.

Today, business is all about analytics, metrics and utilization rates. If the numbers line up nice and neat, the bean counters and money people say we can go with something. If they don’t line up, we tweak and tweak the algorithm until the metrics say, “go”. This clean and clinical approach has led to dying department stores with no staff to run the cash registers, and venture-funded companies whose harried employees each do the work of four people – all in the name of “efficiency”.

But service with heart is not always efficient.

The value of excellent performance based in integrity can’t be calculated.

And deep personal connection can’t be quantified.

Sure, Branch Rickey thought that the popularity of the Negro leagues meant that African-American spectators might flock to big league parks to see integrated baseball. But something else – something ineffable – drove him.

Something important. 

“I may not be able to do something about racism in every field, but I can sure do something about it in baseball,” Rickey said about his decision.

See, he just needed to the right thing.

And that right there is the essence of character.

In your own life and work, you may not be able to do something as big as Branch Rickey did,  but I know there’s something you can do. You know it, too. Doesn’t matter what the metrics might say to do.

Your heart knows.

Just like Robinson and Rickey, sometimes you just have to do what’s right.

 

 

Pin It
Filed Under: Authenticity, Blog, Career Coaching, Happier Living, Managing Change, WiseWork Tagged With: , , , , , 2 Comments

Spring Cleaning

April 7, 2013 By 2 Comments
Pin It

bigstock-Resting-Broom-1487467

 

 

I know it’s finally, really spring because all I want to do is clean stuff up and hum jaunty, happy tunes to myself.

Yesterday, I replaced the porch lights, cleaned the light fixtures and sang “I’m gonna pop some tags” the entire time. My singing voice is particularly resonant on the line, “I wear your granddad’s clothes. I look incredible.” [here's the link to the song - lyrics are not safe for work, children or the easily offended]

I hauled cushions for the patio furniture out of winter storage to the tune of Rockin’ Robin (tweet, tweet, twiddly-diddly-deet, tweet, tweet, TWEET, tweet).

At the car wash it was, naturally, – “you might never get rich, but let me tell ya it’s better than digging a ditch”.

In my garden, though, it’s all classical music. Lilting, lyrical, wordless tunes soar through my head as I prune the rose bush, dead head the hydrangea and rake up the debris of winter.

Good golly, now that you think of it, spring cleaning is a terrific metaphor, right?

Like, how you can take this time to clean up any area of your life that needs a little pruning. Needs a little washing. Needs some attention. Needs twiddly-diddly-deet.

At this time of year, you have the perfect excuse to do whatever needs doing.

Because it’s spring cleaning time.

Difficult conversation? Simple, it’s just like sweeping the porch.

Hard money decisions? No problem, it’s just like packing up the winter clothes for storage.

New commitment to health? Easy, it’s just like washing the salt and road grime off the car.

All you need to be successful is the will to welcome the new and a catchy song to hum.

Let me get you started on your own change with a little anthem that might be perfect – Carry On. By the band called… wait for it… “fun.” Can it get more perfect than that? Because it will be fun.

All you have to do is to pick something that needs doing, and start singing.

Because it’s spring, sugar. Anything – everything – is possible.

 

Pin It
Filed Under: Blog, Clarity, Getting Unstuck, Happier Living, Managing Change, WiseWork Tagged With: , , , , , , 2 Comments
« Older Posts