I believe work can be fulfilling.

I believe you can thrive in your career.

I believe now is the perfect time to start your own business.

I believe that risk of authenticity is worth it.

I believe that leaders who replicate their own dysfunctional family dynamic are the biggest threat to a workplace.

I believe in speaking up.

I believe that change is a constant.

I believe that fear is crippling.

I believe that there’s no such thing as “perfect”.

I believe that someone right out of jail without a high school diploma can be a great employee.

I believe that someone with an MBA can be a great employee.

I believe that all great employees need a mentor.

I believe that the simplest solution is the best solution.

I believe that people are generally good, and want to help others.

I believe you never really lose when you make a mistake – you get to learn.

I believe most companies don’t really know how to compensate or incentivize their employees.

I believe some great leaders are born, and some great leaders learn.

I believe that workplaces can become better places.

And that’s why I do what I do.

And you?  What do you believe?

Related posts:

1. The Simplest Solution
2. The Absence of Perfect
3. The Absence Of Perfect – Part 2

To really understand one of the new rules of work, you need to know Kathy Korman Frey.

Kathy is an adjunct professor at George Washington University, an expert in women’s entrepreneurship and an evangelist for mentoring and being mentored.

Which is a key to success under the new rules of work.

The Old Rules

Eat what you kill. Every man for himself. Pull yourself up by your own bootstraps.

The New Rules

Create networks. Your personal brand is the sum total of all of your experiences with other people. Collaborate. Mentor and be mentored.

Whether you’re a man or a woman, work for yourself or work for someone else – the benefits of having a mentor or mentoring another are tremendous. Kathy Korman Frey says, “People with mentors feel more successful. My specialty is women in business, and we know women with more professional mentors feel ‘just as successful’ or ‘more successful’ than their colleagues. Conversely, women with fewer mentors feel ‘less successful.’ (Source: Hot Mommas Project research with 269 working women). The positive psychology movement shows us that individuals with five or more close friends are happier. A similar principal applies to our professional lives.”

Now is the time for the Big Buts.  “But, Michele, I’m a stockbroker – no one mentors anyone in my shop.”  Or, “But, Michele, I’m a lawyer, and mentoring is just not part of the culture.”  Or, “But, Michele, I’m a solopreneur and don’t have anyone to mentor.”

A lot of Big Buts.

The cool thing – if no one in your organization mentors, imagine the powerful impact you can have by doing the extraordinary thing – and how you will stand out by being a great mentor.  Imagine how successful you’ll be.  Imagine how grateful the people you mentor will be.  Imagine.

And solopreneurs can mentor other solopreneurs – sharing best practices, helping cut through to success – an excellent business model.  I use it myself.

Mentoring is a good thing, and anyone can do it.  So how do you find a mentor?  Kathy Korman Frey:  “The simplest way is to talk with someone who inspires you. Attend a panel discussion listen to a podcast, approach a colleague, and ask them questions. There are many more steps I teach in class, but, this is the quick and dirty.”

And to become a mentor?  “Call or email someone and ask how you can support them in their goals. It takes five minutes, but it can change a life.”

Both Kathy and I have benefited handsomely from our mentors.  I wrote about one of my key mentors last year in Mentoring Mojo.  Kathy says, “I have had many mentors. I subscribe to a ‘personal board of advisors’ theory. When I look through time, I have my ’springboards’ and my ‘constants’. All my springboard are actual teachers, or are natural teachers. For me, these are always the best mentors.”

Kathy Korman Frey counts among her mentors new media stars like Guy Kawasaki and Sam Horn, and important thought leaders like Harvard Business School’s Rosabeth Moss Kanter.  But Kathy also cites high school teachers, college professors, business leaders and peers.  Obviously, Kathy has this mentoring thing knocked.  That’s why she thrives.

As a coach, I sometimes find that clients come to me to be mentored.  Young executives who are managing people for the first time, or navigating office politics – they use me, as a mentor, to learn how to move swiftly up the learning curve.  I also mentor people growing coaching practices, and women re-entering the workforce after a parenting break.

I love mentoring.  And being mentored.  As Kathy pointed out, I feel happier and more successful because I’ve had people who’ve been kind enough to show me the ropes.

If you really want to thrive under the new rules of work, get in the mentoring game.  Call one person this week and offer to help.  Call another person and ask for help.

No Big Buts allowed.

Related posts:

1. The New Rules of Work – Part 1
2. The New Rules Of Work – Part 2
3. Mentoring Mojo

So you’ve been mulling over the idea I proposed last week - that, under the new rules of work, you are a freelancer. No job is secure, and you need to be ready – at any time – to make a move into something new.  Having a side hustle, a Plan B, a backup plan – all very important under the new rules of work.

And there’s something else you need to know to thrive in the new workplace:  Givers win, takers lose.

The Old Rules

You eat what you kill. Greed is good. By any means necessary, you’re going to get yours, and screw anyone who moves too slow.  Your slogan: You snooze, you lose.  You withhold information from people you work with, and even your clients, because information is power, and power is all-important.  Power lets you kill more, so you eat more.  More, more, more is the relentless pursuit. Because there’s only so much to go around.  Only one guy on top.  And it’s going to be you.

The New Rules

Collaboration replaces competition. Information is shared openly and transparently.  Collaboration yields deep personal connections with others, which, in turn, yields opportunities for growth and new jobs.  You succeed by being of service.  You build a strong personal brand with each person you treat well.   You know there’s more than enough of everything to go around, so stress is reduced.  One day you’re the leader, the next day you’re taking directions – it all depends on the task at hand.

The Taking Culture creates huge inefficiencies.   It’s like the law firm that gets a new case in the LA office, but the lawyer with the best expertise is in DC – and she doesn’t get put on the case because all the billable hours need to stay in LA so they can make their numbers, and get their bonuses.  The client has less than stellar assistance from the firm, and a bad taste in his mouth when he loses his case.

The Taking Culture creates ill will.  It’s like the “marketing expert” whose best marketing is really of her persona.  She sells programs and e-books and gimmicks promising that you’ll grow your business to be just as successful as hers.  Yet, everything she sells is amateurish, off-the-shelf, unhelpful. She’s actually never done professional marketing.  Hey, she doesn’t care – she has a mortgage to make, after all – and enough new people come to her via her online presence that she doesn’t give a hoot about the legions of disappointed customers she’s leaving in her wake.  The suckers.

The Giving Culture turns all of it on its ear.

When focused on Giving, the LA office collaborates with the DC office, to give the client the best possible representation.  The client is so happy that he continues to use the firm for years, and refers them many clients.

The online marketing guru who comes from a place of Giving and centers in her expertise – she delivers high-quality, practical materials to an expanding audience of raving fans.  She never worries about making her mortgage.  In fact, that sucker is paid off.

And that’s why givers win.  Giving creates. It creates connection, it creates good feeling, it creates wealth.

Just a note to all my self-effacing, self-deprecating, people-pleasing friends out there:  You don’t give until it hurts.  You don’t give until you have nothing left. You don’t give to get the approval of others. That’s not the point of these new rules of work.

You give to create bonds and connections of appreciation between you and other givers.  You give to collaborate.  You give to set yourself up for what’s next.

You give because it feels so right and yields such rich rewards.

You give out of strength, because you know – don’t you? – that there is always plenty to go around.

Related posts:

1. The New Rules of Work – Part 3
2. The New Rules of Work – Part 1
3. Love Your Work? (What Are You, Crazy?)

The rules of work have changed. And if you’re still operating under the old rules, you will fail.

Got your attention, have I?

The Old Rules

The old rules went something like this:  you take a job in a hierarchical, structured, stable organization with a solid bricks and mortar business model -  and stay there for thirty-plus years, moving up the ladder and getting pay raises according to the rules, until you retire with a pension and benefits provided by the kindly Big Daddy that is the company.

The New Rules

No job is secure. You can expect to change careers five to seven times in the course of your life. You can be laid off from any job at any time. Your CEO can be fired at any time. Your company’s products or services can become outmoded and obsolete in the blink of an eye. You will not have a pension. You might not even have a employer match to your retirement account contributions. You might not get health insurance through an employer.

Nothing is certain.  Nothing is sure.

In today’s uncertain work world, there’s only one way to cope.

And it might be a challenge to wrap your head around.  Ready?

Today, to be successful, you have to be a freelancer.

I’m not saying to quit your job and start your own gig.  Although, 40 million Americans have done precisely that.   I’m suggesting that you operate from the liberating mindset of being a freelance consultant.  “I’m here, I’m doing the work, I’m succeeding – until I’m not, and then I’ll move on to something else.”

A freelance mindset alleviates a lot of problems.  Like caring too much.

Now I’m sure I have your attention.

I have had clients who have been so immersed and over-involved with their work that they have had to be hospitalized for exhaustion.  I have had people come to me after being fired from a job they loved – and astounded that the organization could go on without them.

But it can.  It does.  It will.

Plenty of us over-identify with our work.  Work becomes Who We Are, rather than letting who and what we love be Who We Are.  Coming at your job the way a freelance consultant would – committed, connected, productive, slightly detached – allows you a little breathing room.  Enough breathing room to have a life.

When you think, “Geez, I am going to have to be in this job for thirty years, I better play it safe,” guess what you do?  You play it safe.  You work to CYA rather than create.  You move slowly, cautiously.

Maybe you even walk on eggshells around your boss, because you can’t risk losing your job.

Because you have to be there for thirty years, right?

When I’m a freelancer and you’re a freelancer and the boss is a freelancer and we all know that we are here until we’re not – collaboration can happen more easily.  Office politics diminish.  Productivity soars.

Because we take some of the emotion out, and replace it with a little bit of detachment. We can dare to risk.  We can challenge each other to create.

Freelancers are always looking out for the next assignment, the next gig, the next thing.  My pal Pam Slim recommends having a “side hustle” – that thing you have going on the side, that – if push comes to shove – you could turn into your job.  Like my sister-in-law who is a teacher and has a high school reunion planning business.  Which is the side hustle?  Guess it depends on the day you ask her. 

Under the new rules of work, when even teachers, government workers and people at IBM are losing their jobs, having a viable side hustle keeps you from walking on eggshells.  Because, people, with a side hustle all your eggs are not invested in one tiny little basket of a job.

If you’re in a toxic work environment, if you’re not happy, if you are stuck – what you’ve got to do is simple.  Realize that the rules have changed, and go with it.  Become a freelancer in your mind, and watch your attitude at work change.  Then, watch your work change.

Related posts:

1. The New Rules Of Work – Part 2
2. The New Rules of Work – Part 3
3. What’s Not Working?

You don’t know what to do.

Oh, you’ve got plenty of ideas about what you could do.  About what’s possible.  About your dreams.

Or maybe you’re really, really busy – pursuing a hundred leads at once and reeling from all the potential paths available to you.

But somehow nothing’s really happening.  Nothing’s clicking.

And you’re either starting to panic, or, conversely, starting to think that being where you are isn’t really so bad.  You can hang in there until things start to change.  Whenever that might be.  Someday.

Who finds this familiar?  And just a teensy bit scary?

So, let’s talk about it.  Let’s figure out why you consistently step away from making your ideas into something real, shall we?

It’s easy to be drunk with love about what’s possible.  “I take this job, and I can make a million dollars and become CEO one day.”  Or, “If I become a joint venture partner with this famous person, my life will be easy and I’ll become famous, too.”  And, “It’s not really that bad – I bet I can make it better.”  And we are so in love with this vision that we fail to see that the CEO is only 32 years old and not going anywhere any time soon, or that the famous person has staff that deal with “joint venture partners” (and there are hundreds of joint venture partners), or that the thing is not bad – it’s horrific – and is so toxic that hazmat is required.

The best dating advice I ever received was, “Never fall in love with potential”.  Had I ever followed it, I would have been saved plenty of heartache. But, after being bashed about the head and shoulders several times, I finally learned the lesson.

Today, when offered a possibility, I put potential aside and look at what’s at hand with a clear eye.   Does it fit with my strengths?  My values? My goals?  Notice I’m not asking, “Could it possibly, with a lot of work, pixie dust and spit, maybe fit?”  It either fits or it doesn’t.  And if it fits, that’s when I look at potential.  Does this opportunity allow for growth?  Is it fun?  Is it worth my time?

Isn’t it nice to have a dream?  Feels so dreamy, and love-ly.  We can visit our dreamy dream whenever we want, like some personalized amusement park, and lose ourselves in all the possibility.  And we love the idea of the dream, and fondle the dream, and protect it.  But we never make one step toward realizing the dream in our lives.  The singer never takes voice lessons, the writer never types, the entrepreneur never starts a business.

Why?

Because the dream is perfect, and real life is seldom so.

If you’re a dream-fondler but rather restless, here’s an exercise:  write down a full description of your dream.  All of it.  Even the minutiae. Then go back through and pick two things – just two teensy things – you can easily do to move ever-so-slightly toward making the dream real.  See how that feels, try a couple more, and if you hit resistance, it may be because:

Let’s say your dream is to be a writer, and the teensy thing you choose is to start writing.  And maybe you even begin to call yourself a writer.  That might feel like a change. A re-definition.  A big switch.  People might laugh.  You might not fit in with your friends – they don’t even read books – or your family – who values brawn over brain.

Or maybe you grew up in a family that prides itself on academic and intellectual pursuits.  You go to a competitive high school, and all your friends are shooting for the Ivy League.  You go to a top school, and a prestigious graduate program.  All is as it should be.  But you’re not happy.  All you ever do is dream of starting your own landscaping business.

But if you become a landscaper, what will people think?  What will you have in common with your Ivy League friends?  With your siblings?  With your parents?

The fear of loss keeps you in a job you don’t like, being measured by a yardstick that’s not even relevant to your dream.  If you have a strong pull toward belonging and connection, you might hold on to the group’s yardstick because making your own is so scary. And the group might say it’s wrong.

Understandable.  Hard to shake.

But so worth it when you do. Remember: the people who love you will love you whether you’re a physicist or a landscaper.  Whether you’re a Regional Sales Manager or a writer.  More importantly, you will like you when you’re living your dream.

The failure to execute is the Big Kahuna of stuck.  Making your dreams come alive, though, is the Big Enchilada of happiness.  Go ahead. Start now.

Related posts:

1. What’s Not Working?
2. Change or Die
3. Ya Gotta Wanna