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Why You’re Stressed

February 5, 2012 By Leave a Comment

 

It’s that feeling.

Very familiar now.

Too much to do.

Too little time.

You say yes,

When you ought to say no.

But if you say no

Who will do the thing?

In your secretmost heart, though

You ask,

“If I don’t say yes, then

Who will get the credit,

The thanks,

The approval?”

That question- the one right there?

That’s the very center of your persistent stress.

Constantly seeking external validation

To tell you

That you are good

Helpful

Smart

A good girl

A good boy.

Somebody.

Or some other something kinda like that.

When the antidote to stress

Is knowing

Internally

That you are good.

That you are kind.

That you are smart.

That you can say no.

And saying no does not make you bad.

You must finally know, inside,

That you matter.

Because if you don’t matter to yourself

All the stress reduction classes in the world

Won’t help a bit.

 

Filed Under: Blog, Career Coaching, Clarity, Happier Living, Managing Change Tagged With: , , , Leave a Comment

How To Change Anything

December 4, 2011 By Leave a Comment

 

Take the thing.

Turn it round.

This way.

Then that.

Clear your mind.

See it.

Notice.

Breathe.

Allow it to transform before your eyes.

Into Something.

Something else.

Something new.

Something magical.

That changes everything

For the good.

 

 

Filed Under: Clarity, Getting Unstuck, Managing Change Tagged With: , , , Leave a Comment

What If vs. What If

November 13, 2011 By Leave a Comment

 

 

The absolutely best, most creative question ever asked is:  “What if?”

This little question has generated countless books, movies and plays.  What if a Danish prince discovers that his mother’s new husband is his father’s murderer?  What if a young girl falls down a rabbit hole and finds another world?  What if boy meets girl, boy loses girl and then boy finds girl again?

“What if?” has also spawned greatness in other ways.  Like peach salsa.  Like penicillin.  Like new roses. Like Impressionist paintings. Like iPads.

And yet at the very same time “what if?” is our biggest stumbling block to success.

“What if I make a mistake?”

“What if I don’t like it?”

“What if it’s not really possible?”

“What if I’m wrong?”

The stewing and fretting so many of us devote to the potentiality of every single possible “what if?” scenario keeps us completely stuck.

“What if?” we ask.  “What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if?”

Exhausting.

Yet the irony is, like the proverbial two-edged sword, it’s only by asking “what if?” that we can be free to move forward.

What if you don’t like it?  Well, what if you do?  You will never know until you try, so why not just try?

What if you fail?  Well, have you failed before?  Bet you have. I sure have – recently.  And, look: you and I are still above ground and breathing, so that means we are probably stronger and more resilient than we give ourselves credit for.  Failure proves it.

What if it’s not really possible?  Or if you’re wrong?  Well, then, at least you have collected data which shows you what’s not going to work.  Which only makes it more possible for you to figure out what will work.

Pollyanna-ish?  Unrealistic?  Are you thinking that perhaps I don’t understand the stakes involved?  How pressured your situation is?  How overwhelmed you are?

Oh, I understand quite well.  Believe me.  

I hear it every day. And lived it myself.

But there’s one thing I know.  You can make it easier on yourself by simply choosing to use the creative “what if?” rather than the limiting “what if?”

That’s all.  Once choice.  One little choice to come at your overwhelm and pressure and deadlines and stuff from a slightly different angle.

And create something wonderful.

 

Filed Under: Career Coaching, Getting Unstuck, Managing Change Tagged With: , , , , , , Leave a Comment

Small Change.

November 6, 2011 By Leave a Comment

 


I know what you want.

You want to contribute in a positive way.

You want what you do to really matter.

You want the flexibility to make your own decisions.

You want to work with people who are fun, smart, kind and fair.

You want to make a good living.

You want to be enthusiastic about your day.

You want to be creative, in your own way.

You want to be able to shut off work enough that you can deeply connect with those you love.

(Or find more people to love.)

You want to make a difference.

And, know what?  I know you can do it.

There’s just a little assignment for you first:

I believe, deep in your core, you know what needs to move out of the way so you can get what you want.

I know you know what I’m talking about. It just popped into your mind, didn’t it?  Might feel scary.  Might feel big. Might feel like you have to move to a new place, or to a new job, or a new relationship just to get what you want.

And the prospect of the big, life-shifting change is exactly what’s kept you stuck.

What if I told you that rather than huge, shattering change, you might only have to make the smallest change?  Just one small change to make a big impact?

Like:

Negative self-talk shifts to positive self talk which yields a better perspective on what’s possible.

Allowing other people’s problems to remain their problems conserves your energy.

Clearly stating your goals and objectives creates an opening to serve them.

You can do that, can’t you?

Because penny by penny and dime by dime, over time small change – added every day to a big jar – turns into a large sum of cash.

And that’s how you get what you want.

 

Filed Under: Blog, Career Coaching, Happier Living, Managing Change Tagged With: , , , Leave a Comment

The Unstuck Process

October 30, 2011 By 1 Comment

 

 

I’d say there’s a process.

Maybe the first step is realizing something’s not working.

Some folks stop right there, thinking that they don’t have enough power, energy and oomph to change things.

These are my people.

The second step is entertaining ideas that just might solve the problem.

And folks stop here, too, mostly thinking of ways to eliminate options rather than grow them.

These are my people.

The third step is implementing the idea or ideas that have a chance of working.

Believe me – folks stop here.  Dead stop. Terrified.

Because sometimes it’s a slog and it’s hard and the odds of success look like 125,000,000 to 1, and why not stop already?

I love these people.

And then there’s the fourth step.

Boy, this step is great.

It’s where people look up in wide-eyed wonder and say, “Wow.  It worked.”

That’s the kind of people you can be.

I have a new process to help people get through the first three steps.  The fourth step?  Kinda takes care of itself.

From everything I’ve learned over the years, plus some new research and ideas, I’ve developed 20 powerful questions which take 30 minutes to answer.

Yes, it’s an extremely efficient process.

And you end up identifying one thing – one – that is keeping you stuck.  One thing you can do just a little bit differently, and unlock your time and energy so you can move on to the place you want to be.

Will it work?

Well, what if I told you that if you keep going the way you’re going now, that in two years all you’d have to show for your effort is more of the same?

More stuck.

More misery.

More pain.

More bleah.

If that sounds fantastic to you, then this process is not for you.

But, if the prospect of two more years of what you’ve got right now makes you feel nauseous, then let me give you hope.

I’ve tested this process on myself and on several clients.  One said, “I felt refreshed and uplifted. It’s like this tool shifted my perception to a different part of my brain.”  Another said, “And up until our call yesterday, and that beautiful question about what would it be like if you were in the same place two years from now…  I don’t know that I would have been able to put the puzzle pieces together.  I don’t know that I would have been able to consider other possibilities other than the brick wall that I seem to keep running into when I think about the topic.”

Another?  “I also liked some of your questions about what we want to future to look like, in positive words, how would we feel if three years from now we were still in this same position; and what has to change/what is in the way of making this happen? Michele, thank you so much for helping me move forward with my business. I can’t tell you enough how you have helped me break through barriers and given me hope for a better future.”

So, step one – let’s take it on. You up for it?

You know, I rarely try to sell you anything.  But this process? It’s something else.  And I think you will really benefit.  Or I wouldn’t offer it to you.

I’m doing a special offer for November – give me 30 minutes and get unstuck.

Go here to schedule your phone appointment:  Calendar.

And pay $100 by clicking on this link:  PayPal.

Because you?  You’re my kind of people. And all I want for you is to be saying, “Wow.  Wow. Wow.”

 

Filed Under: Blog, Clarity, Getting Unstuck, Managing Change Tagged With: , , , , , 1 Comment
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