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Why You’re Stressed

February 5, 2012 By Leave a Comment

 

It’s that feeling.

Very familiar now.

Too much to do.

Too little time.

You say yes,

When you ought to say no.

But if you say no

Who will do the thing?

In your secretmost heart, though

You ask,

“If I don’t say yes, then

Who will get the credit,

The thanks,

The approval?”

That question- the one right there?

That’s the very center of your persistent stress.

Constantly seeking external validation

To tell you

That you are good

Helpful

Smart

A good girl

A good boy.

Somebody.

Or some other something kinda like that.

When the antidote to stress

Is knowing

Internally

That you are good.

That you are kind.

That you are smart.

That you can say no.

And saying no does not make you bad.

You must finally know, inside,

That you matter.

Because if you don’t matter to yourself

All the stress reduction classes in the world

Won’t help a bit.

 

Filed Under: Blog, Career Coaching, Case Studies, Clarity, Happier Living, Managing Change Tagged With: , , , Leave a Comment

The Unstuck Process

October 30, 2011 By 1 Comment

 

 

I’d say there’s a process.

Maybe the first step is realizing something’s not working.

Some folks stop right there, thinking that they don’t have enough power, energy and oomph to change things.

These are my people.

The second step is entertaining ideas that just might solve the problem.

And folks stop here, too, mostly thinking of ways to eliminate options rather than grow them.

These are my people.

The third step is implementing the idea or ideas that have a chance of working.

Believe me – folks stop here.  Dead stop. Terrified.

Because sometimes it’s a slog and it’s hard and the odds of success look like 125,000,000 to 1, and why not stop already?

I love these people.

And then there’s the fourth step.

Boy, this step is great.

It’s where people look up in wide-eyed wonder and say, “Wow.  It worked.”

That’s the kind of people you can be.

I have a new process to help people get through the first three steps.  The fourth step?  Kinda takes care of itself.

From everything I’ve learned over the years, plus some new research and ideas, I’ve developed 20 powerful questions which take 30 minutes to answer.

Yes, it’s an extremely efficient process.

And you end up identifying one thing – one – that is keeping you stuck.  One thing you can do just a little bit differently, and unlock your time and energy so you can move on to the place you want to be.

Will it work?

Well, what if I told you that if you keep going the way you’re going now, that in two years all you’d have to show for your effort is more of the same?

More stuck.

More misery.

More pain.

More bleah.

If that sounds fantastic to you, then this process is not for you.

But, if the prospect of two more years of what you’ve got right now makes you feel nauseous, then let me give you hope.

I’ve tested this process on myself and on several clients.  One said, “I felt refreshed and uplifted. It’s like this tool shifted my perception to a different part of my brain.”  Another said, “And up until our call yesterday, and that beautiful question about what would it be like if you were in the same place two years from now…  I don’t know that I would have been able to put the puzzle pieces together.  I don’t know that I would have been able to consider other possibilities other than the brick wall that I seem to keep running into when I think about the topic.”

Another?  “I also liked some of your questions about what we want to future to look like, in positive words, how would we feel if three years from now we were still in this same position; and what has to change/what is in the way of making this happen? Michele, thank you so much for helping me move forward with my business. I can’t tell you enough how you have helped me break through barriers and given me hope for a better future.”

So, step one – let’s take it on. You up for it?

You know, I rarely try to sell you anything.  But this process? It’s something else.  And I think you will really benefit.  Or I wouldn’t offer it to you.

I’m doing a special offer for November – give me 30 minutes and get unstuck.

Go here to schedule your phone appointment:  Calendar.

And pay $100 by clicking on this link:  PayPal.

Because you?  You’re my kind of people. And all I want for you is to be saying, “Wow.  Wow. Wow.”

 

Filed Under: Blog, Clarity, Getting Unstuck, Managing Change Tagged With: , , , , , 1 Comment

Success Breeds Success

March 13, 2011 By 2 Comments




One of the most intriguing things I’ve learned as an executive coach is this: The more successful you are, the more successful you get.

Because when you’re successful, people see your success and your confidence, they’re drawn to it, and opportunities arise. The more opportunities you have, the greater your chance of success. And so the cycle repeats.

I like using the word Slipstream to describe this flow of success. Some might call it The Zone. Others Alignment or The Vortex. Or you literary types might call it The Unbearable Lightness of Being.

Whatever it’s called, you sure know it when you’re there. It’s getting there that’s the difficulty, isn’t it?

Don’t worry – I can help with that.  Want to know the secrets of getting into the Slipstream? Lean in close, now – there are just two things you need to know:

Believe you deserve to be successful.

and

Dare to take a stand.

Let’s take those two keys one at a time.

It’s amazing to me the number of people who are not successful simply because they believe they can’t be.  They say things like, “People like me never…” and “My parents couldn’t…” and “I didn’t go to the right school so…”  They focus so much on what’s lacking that they can’t see what they’ve got.

In London’s subway system, there’s a simple message painted on the floor:  Mind The Gap.  It’s meant as a warning that there’s a space between the platform and the train which could be hazardous.  So, too, believing in yourself requires minding the gap – the gap between here and now.  The gap between can and can’t.  The gap in your idea of who you think you are and who you can be.

It’s sad to watch people get a taste of success and immediately implode because “success” is not how they see themselves.  They have a vision of themselves as: Struggling. Striving. Oppressed.  Success completely throws them off the rails, and they immediately sabotage themselves just so they can go back to what’s familiar and comfortable, which is:  Struggling. Striving. Oppressed.

However, the most successful people I know believe in their own capacity to do well.  Regardless of where they went to school, or who their parents were, or whether they’ve had cancer, or how much credit card debt they once had.  They allow themselves to be successful because they know they have a right to create what they want for themselves.

And they do.

Now, the second key:  Dare to take a stand.  The other morning I heard an interview with designer Tom Ford who said that most brilliant design is the result of a bold vision, a unique statement.  All successful design stands for something.

And he’s right. Whether you’re making art, looking for a job, starting a business or growing a career – remember this: You’ve got to take a stand. You have to be known for something.

Allow yourself to be memorable.

Why? Taking a stand is kinda risky, right? OK, you know Donald Trump? Like him or loathe him, every time Trump says, “You’re fired!”, he’s actually taking a stand. A stand which reflects his beliefs, his experience, and his vision for the future. And, subsequently, he’s known for being tough, straightforward and even more successful.

So how can you start believing in yourself? Take a stand? Create your own success? Get into the Slipstream?

Let me know what you’re thinking about this. Because I believe in your success.

That, my friend, is the stand I’m taking.

Filed Under: Authenticity, Career Coaching, Getting Unstuck Tagged With: , , , , , 2 Comments

Either, Or & And

February 13, 2011 By 2 Comments





He looks at me across the table, eyes steady, gaze clear. “Here’s the deal,” he begins. “I hate my job – really hate it. There is no place for me to move up, it’s the same crap every day, and the people I work with are toxic.” He stops for a breath. “But I make a great six-figure income and we have a good lifestyle.

“It feels like I can’t leave the money, but I can’t stay in this job much longer.” Now, his resolve falters. “What can I do?”

Well, the first thing he can do is stop with the either/or thinking.

Thinking like: Either I do work I hate to make money I like, or I do work I like and go broke.

Notice how there’s no possible happy outcome in his mind. And I’ll tell you what – he’s not alone in that thinking.

She tells me that she loves being a full-time parent, and feels complete when she’s mothering her children. There’s just this one thing – she’s not so sure if she’s happy in her marriage. She tells me:

“Either I fulfill myself as a mother and stay in a blah marriage, or I get divorced and become a single working mom who never sees her children. I just can’t do that to my kids.”

Again with the either/or.

What you need to know about either/or set-ups is this: they allow us to justify not making any choices at all. We neatly set it up so every alternative is a crappy one – allowing us to avoid the uncertainty of change, and maintain the status quo.  Then, slowly, slowly, slowly, because of our fears, we lose our passion, our joy and our selves.

Which is really sad.

Especially since there is another way.

You knew I’d have another way.

I call it “The And Way”.

The And Way says, “I can be happy in my work AND earn a healthy living.”

It says, “I can be the kind of involved parent I want to be AND have a satisfying marriage.”

It’s “I can eat what I want AND maintain a healthy body.”

I love The And Way. And you will, too.

How do you start living The And Way?

Simple.

When you hear yourself doing the either/or thing, hold up a minute. Ask yourself this: Is that true? Of course, it may feel absolutely, 100% true. But explore. Is it really? Do you know anyone who does work they love and makes all the money they want?

Come on, you know someone who does.

You know me, don’t you? :-)

When it comes down to it, you almost always know someone who’s doing what you tell yourself is impossible. And as long as you keep this person in mind, you see that there is an And Way.

Then you just have to pursue it. Sure, you may have to adjust a few things in your life. But you just might find that adjustment liberating.

Fear of change is the most human of emotions. But it’s also the most limiting of emotions. It keeps us stuck.

Knowing that positive change is possible – that there is always, always, always The And Way – is your first step toward crafting a fulfilling and happy life.

Filed Under: Career Coaching, Clarity, Getting Unstuck, Managing Change Tagged With: , , , , , , 2 Comments

What I Want For You

January 9, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Life is all about the cupcakes.

I want you to maximize your potential.

You’re always at your best when you center in your strengths and focus on your true priorities.

When you know your values and serve them daily.

When you accept who you are and get to the place of self-respect and self-love.

When you live the life you were meant to live.

I want you to be able to make your career work for you, rather than the other way around.

You can be yourself and succeed.

There are no “shoulds”, only choices.

You are the best expert on you – not your boss, not your co-workers, not anyone else. You.

Stress can be a motivator, but too much of it saps your energy and makes you sick.  Workplace drama masquerading as “stress” is pointless.

You have the capacity to design a life that’s right for you.  On all counts.

I want you to be supremely clear.

So you can make the best possible decisions for yourself.

Without getting stuck.

Or hung up.

Because good decisions beget more good decisions. And I want more good in your life.

But most of all, I want you to be happy.  I want you to wake up ready to engage with the day.  To have that energetic kind of enthusiasm that makes work feel effortless.  To enjoy what you’re doing so much that you lose track of time. To go to bed feeling fulfilled, connected and satisfied.  To have fun.

I want all of this for you.

And that’s why I do what I do.

Thanks for letting me.

Filed Under: Authenticity, Clarity, Getting Unstuck, Happier Living Tagged With: , , , , , , Leave a Comment
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