Why Being Brave Matters

I recently read that corporate America has $1.8 trillion dollars in cash, on reserve.  Which is a lot more than they had at the beginning of the recession.

And unemployment still stands at 9.7 percent.  When you stop counting the people who’ve grown so discouraged that they’ve stopped even looking for a job.

Companies have the cash to hire, but aren’t hiring because they’re afraid that the economy will go back in the tank, since people aren’t spending as much money as they have in the past.  And people are not spending as much money because either they’re unemployed or fear being unemployed.

Classic chicken and egg.

It occurs to me that what is called for at this precise moment is a bit of corporate leadership.  What’s needed is for a couple of men and women to stand up and say, “We’re going to take the risk and get people back to work. We’re going to stop the cycle of layoffs and asking one person to do the work of five people, and we’re going to staff appropriately. Starting right now.”

I know.  A girl can dream.

But imagine what that kind of bravery could do.

It just might turn around the economy and get folks back on track.

Bravery is transformative like that.  Standing up, bucking the trend, saying your piece, acting with good intention – all of it – can create huge change on a big scale.

But it can also create something new on a you-scale.

Maybe there’s a place in your life where you need to be brave.  Maybe you need to stand up, speak up, look up.  Maybe the change you’ve been looking for is a change inside yourself.  Maybe it’s time to take a deep breath and do what needs doing.

You can lead yourself to something new and wonderful.  And when you do, perhaps corporate America will be inspired by your bravery and do its own leading.

A Change Is Going to Come

I don’t know about you, but it feels like a change is coming.

Something’s in the air, and I can’t quite get my finger on it.

In the last two weeks, I’ve spoken in front of five audiences. I’ve led another three small groups. Worked with a number of individuals. I’ve talked with a bunch of friends. And all the questions, and most of the coaching, has touched on the pervasive feeling that something’s about to happen.

A shoe is ready to drop.

Do you feel it?

Don’t you want it to happen already?

Me, too.

But one thing I’ve learned is that you can’t rush waiting.

You’ve got to let it happen at its own time and its own pace.

Make the time to be quiet, and still, and listen with your heart.

And love that change whenever it comes. Whatever it looks like.

Because it’s probably going to be great.

It usually is.

The New Rules of Work – Part 1

The rules of work have changed. And if you’re still operating under the old rules, you will fail.

Got your attention, have I?

The Old Rules

The old rules went something like this:  you take a job in a hierarchical, structured, stable organization with a solid bricks and mortar business model -  and stay there for thirty-plus years, moving up the ladder and getting pay raises according to the rules, until you retire with a pension and benefits provided by the kindly Big Daddy that is the company.

The New Rules

No job is secure. You can expect to change careers five to seven times in the course of your life. You can be laid off from any job at any time. Your CEO can be fired at any time. Your company’s products or services can become outmoded and obsolete in the blink of an eye. You will not have a pension. You might not even have a employer match to your retirement account contributions. You might not get health insurance through an employer.

Nothing is certain.  Nothing is sure.

In today’s uncertain work world, there’s only one way to cope.

And it might be a challenge to wrap your head around.  Ready?

Today, to be successful, you have to be a freelancer.

I’m not saying to quit your job and start your own gig.  Although, 40 million Americans have done precisely that.   I’m suggesting that you operate from the liberating mindset of being a freelance consultant.  “I’m here, I’m doing the work, I’m succeeding – until I’m not, and then I’ll move on to something else.”

A freelance mindset alleviates a lot of problems.  Like caring too much.

Now I’m sure I have your attention.

I have had clients who have been so immersed and over-involved with their work that they have had to be hospitalized for exhaustion.  I have had people come to me after being fired from a job they loved – and astounded that the organization could go on without them.

But it can.  It does.  It will.

Plenty of us over-identify with our work.  Work becomes Who We Are, rather than letting who and what we love be Who We Are.  Coming at your job the way a freelance consultant would – committed, connected, productive, slightly detached – allows you a little breathing room.  Enough breathing room to have a life.

When you think, “Geez, I am going to have to be in this job for thirty years, I better play it safe,” guess what you do?  You play it safe.  You work to CYA rather than create.  You move slowly, cautiously.

Maybe you even walk on eggshells around your boss, because you can’t risk losing your job.

Because you have to be there for thirty years, right?

When I’m a freelancer and you’re a freelancer and the boss is a freelancer and we all know that we are here until we’re not – collaboration can happen more easily.  Office politics diminish.  Productivity soars.

Because we take some of the emotion out, and replace it with a little bit of detachment. We can dare to risk.  We can challenge each other to create.

Freelancers are always looking out for the next assignment, the next gig, the next thing.  My pal Pam Slim recommends having a “side hustle” – that thing you have going on the side, that – if push comes to shove – you could turn into your job.  Like my sister-in-law who is a teacher and has a high school reunion planning business.  Which is the side hustle?  Guess it depends on the day you ask her. 

Under the new rules of work, when even teachers, government workers and people at IBM are losing their jobs, having a viable side hustle keeps you from walking on eggshells.  Because, people, with a side hustle all your eggs are not invested in one tiny little basket of a job.

If you’re in a toxic work environment, if you’re not happy, if you are stuck – what you’ve got to do is simple.  Realize that the rules have changed, and go with it.  Become a freelancer in your mind, and watch your attitude at work change.  Then, watch your work change.

Failure to Execute

You don’t know what to do.

Oh, you’ve got plenty of ideas about what you could do.  About what’s possible.  About your dreams.

Or maybe you’re really, really busy – pursuing a hundred leads at once and reeling from all the potential paths available to you.

But somehow nothing’s really happening.  Nothing’s clicking.

And you’re either starting to panic, or, conversely, starting to think that being where you are isn’t really so bad.  You can hang in there until things start to change.  Whenever that might be.  Someday.

Who finds this familiar?  And just a teensy bit scary?

So, let’s talk about it.  Let’s figure out why you consistently step away from making your ideas into something real, shall we?

Falling in love with potential

It’s easy to be drunk with love about what’s possible.  “I take this job, and I can make a million dollars and become CEO one day.”  Or, “If I become a joint venture partner with this famous person, my life will be easy and I’ll become famous, too.”  And, “It’s not really that bad – I bet I can make it better.”  And we are so in love with this vision that we fail to see that the CEO is only 32 years old and not going anywhere any time soon, or that the famous person has staff that deal with “joint venture partners” (and there are hundreds of joint venture partners), or that the thing is not bad – it’s horrific – and is so toxic that hazmat is required.

The best dating advice I ever received was, “Never fall in love with potential”.  Had I ever followed it, I would have been saved plenty of heartache. But, after being bashed about the head and shoulders several times, I finally learned the lesson.

Today, when offered a possibility, I put potential aside and look at what’s at hand with a clear eye.   Does it fit with my strengths?  My values? My goals?  Notice I’m not asking, “Could it possibly, with a lot of work, pixie dust and spit, maybe fit?”  It either fits or it doesn’t.  And if it fits, that’s when I look at potential.  Does this opportunity allow for growth?  Is it fun?  Is it worth my time?

Loving the dream too much

Isn’t it nice to have a dream?  Feels so dreamy, and love-ly.  We can visit our dreamy dream whenever we want, like some personalized amusement park, and lose ourselves in all the possibility.  And we love the idea of the dream, and fondle the dream, and protect it.  But we never make one step toward realizing the dream in our lives.  The singer never takes voice lessons, the writer never types, the entrepreneur never starts a business.

Why?

Because the dream is perfect, and real life is seldom so.

If you’re a dream-fondler but rather restless, here’s an exercise:  write down a full description of your dream.  All of it.  Even the minutiae. Then go back through and pick two things – just two teensy things – you can easily do to move ever-so-slightly toward making the dream real.  See how that feels, try a couple more, and if you hit resistance, it may be because:

Execution means change

Let’s say your dream is to be a writer, and the teensy thing you choose is to start writing.  And maybe you even begin to call yourself a writer.  That might feel like a change. A re-definition.  A big switch.  People might laugh.  You might not fit in with your friends – they don’t even read books – or your family – who values brawn over brain.

Or maybe you grew up in a family that prides itself on academic and intellectual pursuits.  You go to a competitive high school, and all your friends are shooting for the Ivy League.  You go to a top school, and a prestigious graduate program.  All is as it should be.  But you’re not happy.  All you ever do is dream of starting your own landscaping business.

But if you become a landscaper, what will people think?  What will you have in common with your Ivy League friends?  With your siblings?  With your parents?

The fear of loss keeps you in a job you don’t like, being measured by a yardstick that’s not even relevant to your dream.  If you have a strong pull toward belonging and connection, you might hold on to the group’s yardstick because making your own is so scary. And the group might say it’s wrong.

Understandable.  Hard to shake.

But so worth it when you do. Remember: the people who love you will love you whether you’re a physicist or a landscaper.  Whether you’re a Regional Sales Manager or a writer.  More importantly, you will like you when you’re living your dream.

The failure to execute is the Big Kahuna of stuck.  Making your dreams come alive, though, is the Big Enchilada of happiness.  Go ahead. Start now.

A Generous Spirit

This week, I was going to write about Dan Pink’s new book about motivation, Drive.

Then, I also considered writing about Brigid Schulte’s article in The Washington Post, about a busy working mom’s search for leisure time.

I also thought about writing an arch, sassy essay on New Year’s Resolutions.

But I couldn’t write those posts. They seem so inconsequential.

Because I can’t get Haiti out of my mind.

The scope of the loss there is so hard to grasp. The only way I’ve been able to understand it is like this: It’s as if Land Shark Stadium in Miami, filled to the rafters for the Super Bowl, collapsed and suddenly every single person in the stadium – players, refs, fans, vendors, women selling programs, beer guys, security guards – died.

And as if every single car in the parking lot were filled with people who were hurt by falling debris from the stadium, had no gas, no food, no water, and no where to go.

And everyone in Miami suddenly had no power, no police, no firemen, no nothing.

Imagine if we began burying people in a mass grave in the middle of the football field.

That’s what Haiti is like.

And so much else feels insignificant.

Last Friday as I watched the news coverage out of Port-au-Prince,  I found myself feeling much the same way I did on September 11, 2001. I live four miles from the Pentagon, and I knew someone on that plane. I knew people who worked at the Pentagon, and a security guard who saved lives. Firefighters just down the street were among the first responders. I saw the smoke, I smelled the jet fuel, I saw the scorch marks. The loss felt so heavy.

One hundred and twenty five souls died that day at the Pentagon. Almost 3,000 people died in New York, Pennsylvania and DC as a result of the 9-11 attack. Our attention has been grabbed by other recent situations. Nearly 4,500 soldiers have died in Iraq since 2003.  Eight hundred and fifty in Afghanistan.  Six thousand five hundred people died from swine flu in 2009, worldwide.

All of these instances have received understandable media coverage.

But Haiti’s death toll is almost 1000 times that of the Pentagon. More than thirty times the losses of 9-11. Twenty times the soldiers lost in Iraq. Fifteen times that lost to swine flu.

It is so big.

So what can we do? We can, and have, given to charitable organizations who are on the ground in Haiti, delivering basic supplies, medical assistance and coordinating recovery efforts. In just a few days, $12 million has been generated in ten dollar increments for the American Red Cross by text messaging alone.

We are a generous people.

And catastrophes tend to bring us together, and bring out the best in us.

So I have an idea.

What if we could keep that generosity going? Certainly to Haiti as it rebuilds.

But also to Flint, Michigan, as it recovers.

And to Schenectady and Siler City. And to Des Moines and Danville.

And to Main Street and to your very own street.

Amid our personal concerns about our financial health and prospects for the future, what if we made a commitment to keep on being as generous in the future as we are right now?

What if, as a business owner, you hired someone and accepted a slightly smaller profit margin for yourself?

What if, as a homeowner, you hired someone to repair your roof rather than get up on a ladder?

What if, as a corporation, you added just one percent to your workforce?

What if, as a bank, you lent money to people who will use it to create opportunity for others through employment?

What if, as a society, we figuratively kept texting each other $10 each day?

Why, we’d change everything.

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