Trusting The Wait


Sometimes you just don’t know.

Sometimes you have to wait.

With your senses alert and your intuition set to Receive.

Thus, you walk through your day absorbing, absorbing, absorbing. Listening. Learning.

But still waiting.

Until, one day (one happy day), whatever it is that’s coming is just a little bit more clear.

[What a relief.]

And you take that little opening, that small guidance, and you make something of it.

Unless, of course, you don’t. Because you might think it’s too small.

Or, you might not notice. Or, you might notice and think that it can’t possibly be an opening.

Because an opening should look a certain way. And we can’t recognize something that looks different from what we expect.

Yes, your opening may surprise you. And right there – that’s your opportunity.

So if you’ve waited, and you’ve watched, and you’re really ready to receive…trust it.

Walk through the door that opens for you.

Whatever it looks like.

It’ll be worth the wait.

Either, Or & And





He looks at me across the table, eyes steady, gaze clear. “Here’s the deal,” he begins. “I hate my job – really hate it. There is no place for me to move up, it’s the same crap every day, and the people I work with are toxic.” He stops for a breath. “But I make a great six-figure income and we have a good lifestyle.

“It feels like I can’t leave the money, but I can’t stay in this job much longer.” Now, his resolve falters. “What can I do?”

Well, the first thing he can do is stop with the either/or thinking.

Thinking like: Either I do work I hate to make money I like, or I do work I like and go broke.

Notice how there’s no possible happy outcome in his mind. And I’ll tell you what – he’s not alone in that thinking.

She tells me that she loves being a full-time parent, and feels complete when she’s mothering her children. There’s just this one thing – she’s not so sure if she’s happy in her marriage. She tells me:

“Either I fulfill myself as a mother and stay in a blah marriage, or I get divorced and become a single working mom who never sees her children. I just can’t do that to my kids.”

Again with the either/or.

What you need to know about either/or set-ups is this: they allow us to justify not making any choices at all. We neatly set it up so every alternative is a crappy one – allowing us to avoid the uncertainty of change, and maintain the status quo.  Then, slowly, slowly, slowly, because of our fears, we lose our passion, our joy and our selves.

Which is really sad.

Especially since there is another way.

You knew I’d have another way.

I call it “The And Way”.

The And Way says, “I can be happy in my work AND earn a healthy living.”

It says, “I can be the kind of involved parent I want to be AND have a satisfying marriage.”

It’s “I can eat what I want AND maintain a healthy body.”

I love The And Way. And you will, too.

How do you start living The And Way?

Simple.

When you hear yourself doing the either/or thing, hold up a minute. Ask yourself this: Is that true? Of course, it may feel absolutely, 100% true. But explore. Is it really? Do you know anyone who does work they love and makes all the money they want?

Come on, you know someone who does.

You know me, don’t you? :-)

When it comes down to it, you almost always know someone who’s doing what you tell yourself is impossible. And as long as you keep this person in mind, you see that there is an And Way.

Then you just have to pursue it. Sure, you may have to adjust a few things in your life. But you just might find that adjustment liberating.

Fear of change is the most human of emotions. But it’s also the most limiting of emotions. It keeps us stuck.

Knowing that positive change is possible – that there is always, always, always The And Way – is your first step toward crafting a fulfilling and happy life.

What I Want For You

Life is all about the cupcakes.

I want you to maximize your potential.

You’re always at your best when you center in your strengths and focus on your true priorities.

When you know your values and serve them daily.

When you accept who you are and get to the place of self-respect and self-love.

When you live the life you were meant to live.

I want you to be able to make your career work for you, rather than the other way around.

You can be yourself and succeed.

There are no “shoulds”, only choices.

You are the best expert on you – not your boss, not your co-workers, not anyone else. You.

Stress can be a motivator, but too much of it saps your energy and makes you sick.  Workplace drama masquerading as “stress” is pointless.

You have the capacity to design a life that’s right for you.  On all counts.

I want you to be supremely clear.

So you can make the best possible decisions for yourself.

Without getting stuck.

Or hung up.

Because good decisions beget more good decisions. And I want more good in your life.

But most of all, I want you to be happy.  I want you to wake up ready to engage with the day.  To have that energetic kind of enthusiasm that makes work feel effortless.  To enjoy what you’re doing so much that you lose track of time. To go to bed feeling fulfilled, connected and satisfied.  To have fun.

I want all of this for you.

And that’s why I do what I do.

Thanks for letting me.

The Ties That Bind

It’s a big change you’re making in your life.  A step into the unknown.  A moment of redefinition.

People are telling you what it is you’re supposed to be doing.  And you’re not quite sure – you’ve been doing this thing for so long.  Can you do something new now?

What if you don’t like it? What if you change your mind? Will it be hard to find a new meaning? A new purpose?

Can you really do this?

Know what I think? I think: Yes, you can.

It will be hard, but you will do it.

And it will be what you make it.  So make it what you want.

Stay true to yourself.

Play to your strengths.  Which include integrity, insight and a wicked sense of humor. And a connected circle of deeply loyal family, friends and supporters.

You know this.

Sure, you are leaving one sure thing and going to another unsure thing, but you’re not alone. You’ve got people, my friend.

And these are the ties that bind. And they will bind to you regardless of your job title, or how you spend your day, or where you go.

If you let them, it’s your people that will guide you through to your next great thing.  Because I have a hunch that there is a next great thing out there for you, just waiting to be discovered.

What an amazing, life-changing prospect.

You’re a modern day Magellan, charting your own course. On a fantastic voyage of discovery.

Go on, then. Make your mark. Write your history. I’ll be right here, cheering you on every step of the way.

***

Good response to this post I wrote for Psychology Today.  If you struggle with delegating, take a quick read. I wonder if the client who inspired this will recognize herself…


Walking The Walk

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Sometimes, when you least expect them, great things happen.

At least that’s what happens for me.  I was vacationing at the beach in South Carolina – eating more shrimp than Forrest Gump – when I got a call asking me to consider taking on a new project.  To be honest, I was fully in vacation brain (“What’s for breakfast?  Who’s up for body-surfing? What’s for lunch? A nap! Where’s my book?  A nap! What’s for dinner?  Where’s the wine?”  y’know, the perfect vacation), but that may have helped me.  My mind was fairly clear as I considered how to respond to the offer.  Gave myself the good old 24 hour rule – don’t say yes or no for that long – and then said… yes.

Exactly what did I say yes to?

I was asked to serve as Executive Director of the bi-partisan Ronald Reagan Centennial Commission.  Here’s the press release on the Commission.

Why did I say yes?  Especially when my coaching practice has exploded?  And my happy life is precisely as I’ve designed it?

No, contrary to popular belief, I am not a glutton for punishment.  Rather:

It plays to my strengths. I am good with big picture. I am good with moving groups of people toward consensus and action.  I am good with events.  I am good with execution.  I like taking on a project and seeing it through.  I like this kind of work – it’s what I know how to do and have done for a long time.  However, I haven’t been able to stretch these muscles in my coaching practice – so I’m looking forward to getting reacquainted with old, familiar skills while learning plenty of new things, too.

It allows me to serve. While some folks in my generation were able to serve their country in uniform, my chances to serve have always come in public service.  This Commission, created by Congress and signed into law by President Obama, is another opportunity for me to give back, and to serve when asked.  It’s a thing I can do to help, when so many in so many places are doing so much more.

I will continue coaching. The scope of the position is such that I can continue to coach and to teach.  The best of all possible worlds.  My coaching groups, my training programs, my work with individuals and organizations, my mini book tour (more information is coming, I promise!) – all going forward, as planned.

But most importantly, I hope to lead by example for all of my clients.  I hope I can show that careers can take many shapes and forms over time, and as long as you’re learning and growing – you’re doing fine. I hope my clients see that I’m taking on a position that’s relevant to their careers.  I know what it’s like to have short time frames, big pressure, diverse personalities – and I know how to find a path to success despite all the hubbub and noise.

I’m a big one on setting intentions.  And let’s just say, hypothetically, you happen to set an intention to do interesting work.  To be compensated fairly for it.  To meet interesting new people and continue to learn and grow.  Let’s say you did that every day, faithfully.  And maybe you have an idea what it would look like to have your intention met.

All I’m saying is that one day you might be on vacation and be offered exactly what you asked for.  It might not look exactly like what you expected.

But it just might be perfect.