Shameless Self Promotion

It’s going to be a happy, action-packed fall for yours truly.  Thought I’d give you a sense of what’s on my dance card, and extend an open invitation – join in on anything that appeals to you.  You’re absolutely welcome and I’d love to see you.

September starts off with a bang – my book tour for I Am Not Superwoman: Further Essays On Happier Living. In each city, I’ll be leading a 5 hour workshop using tools and ideas in the book to help all of us would-be Superwomen relax, take a deep breath and craft work and life that matters.  The calendar looks like this:

September 15th – Washington, DC (Chevy Chase) 9:30am – 2:30pm (hosted by Karen Anillo)

September 22nd – Richmond, VA  9:30am – 2:30pm (hosted by Beth Hanna)

September 24th – Atlanta, GA  9:30am – 2:30pm Druid Hills Golf Club (hosted by Laurie Foley)

September 25th – Knoxville, TN  9:30am – 2:30pm (hosted by Jennifer Voss)

October 1st – Chicago, IL  9:30am – 2:30pm (hosted by Dana Frost and Mary Beth Sammons)

October 8th – Annapolis, MD  9:30-2:30pm (sponsored by St. Anne’s School Parent’s Association)

Each workshop offers an autographed copy of my book, five hours of great tools, exercises and learning plus a supportive, interesting group of women to meet and work with.  You’ll get a delicious lunch, too!  $179 for the day in each location.

Additional dates are being planned in Southern California, Houston and New York City.  If you’d like to help, or come, or have other suggestions, please drop me a note.

If you are anywhere close to these cities, I would love to see you.  Come by, will you?  And stay tuned for sign-up information – coming soon!

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I also have a wonderful group forming – designed especially for women asking “What’s Next?” I’ve run this program several times before and it’s always a great success for those participating. In a three month process, you’ll work in a small group with other like-minded people – who are all working on discovering What’s Next?

We’ll work on getting clear on your strengths, values, priorities and passions, then take steps to determine how and where you can get more of what you want in your life.

Starting Tuesday, September 14th, we’ll meet every other week at 7pm (EST) in an intensive 90 minute phone conference, where you’ll get great coaching and support from me and from the group.  Dates:  September 14, 28, October 12, 26, November 9, 23. You’ll get: A comprehensive Myers-Briggs Type Indicator™ with a thorough analysis of what it means for you; other assessments, worksheets and tools to uncover the best of you; homework and assignments; email support between sessions; and, the great feeling that comes from working in a group with other like-minded people.

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If you’re a coach, or becoming a coach, I’m launching a cool class series with Master Coach Alexis Robin – you’ll learn everything you need to know about creating events, from people who know how to do them.  The largest event I’ve ever planned involved about 250,000 people on the Washington Mall.  Alexis has a rich experience in hotels.  Together, we’ll teach you everything you need to know about using events to grow your business.

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And also for coaches, my pal Master Coach Pam Slim and I are offering a Marketing Strategy Intensive October 15 – 16, at the Roger Williams Hotel in NYC.  Working with a high-powered, small group, you won’t just learn how to market your business – no, you’ll walk away with a specific, executable strategic plan.  Don’t miss this one – we have a special guest star coming, too:  Crystal Williams of BigBrightBulb.com will do her magic to make your plan that much better!  More details coming shortly.

Yes, it’s a lot of stuff, but I look forward with enthusiasm – what great people I will see!  What great work we’ll do!  What fun we’ll have.

Join us, won’t you?

What I Believe

I believe work can be fulfilling.

I believe you can thrive in your career.

I believe now is the perfect time to start your own business.

I believe that risk of authenticity is worth it.

I believe that leaders who replicate their own dysfunctional family dynamic are the biggest threat to a workplace.

I believe in speaking up.

I believe that change is a constant.

I believe that fear is crippling.

I believe that there’s no such thing as “perfect”.

I believe that someone right out of jail without a high school diploma can be a great employee.

I believe that someone with an MBA can be a great employee.

I believe that all great employees need a mentor.

I believe that the simplest solution is the best solution.

I believe that people are generally good, and want to help others.

I believe you never really lose when you make a mistake – you get to learn.

I believe most companies don’t really know how to compensate or incentivize their employees.

I believe some great leaders are born, and some great leaders learn.

I believe that workplaces can become better places.

And that’s why I do what I do.

And you?  What do you believe?

A Generous Spirit

This week, I was going to write about Dan Pink’s new book about motivation, Drive.

Then, I also considered writing about Brigid Schulte’s article in The Washington Post, about a busy working mom’s search for leisure time.

I also thought about writing an arch, sassy essay on New Year’s Resolutions.

But I couldn’t write those posts. They seem so inconsequential.

Because I can’t get Haiti out of my mind.

The scope of the loss there is so hard to grasp. The only way I’ve been able to understand it is like this: It’s as if Land Shark Stadium in Miami, filled to the rafters for the Super Bowl, collapsed and suddenly every single person in the stadium – players, refs, fans, vendors, women selling programs, beer guys, security guards – died.

And as if every single car in the parking lot were filled with people who were hurt by falling debris from the stadium, had no gas, no food, no water, and no where to go.

And everyone in Miami suddenly had no power, no police, no firemen, no nothing.

Imagine if we began burying people in a mass grave in the middle of the football field.

That’s what Haiti is like.

And so much else feels insignificant.

Last Friday as I watched the news coverage out of Port-au-Prince,  I found myself feeling much the same way I did on September 11, 2001. I live four miles from the Pentagon, and I knew someone on that plane. I knew people who worked at the Pentagon, and a security guard who saved lives. Firefighters just down the street were among the first responders. I saw the smoke, I smelled the jet fuel, I saw the scorch marks. The loss felt so heavy.

One hundred and twenty five souls died that day at the Pentagon. Almost 3,000 people died in New York, Pennsylvania and DC as a result of the 9-11 attack. Our attention has been grabbed by other recent situations. Nearly 4,500 soldiers have died in Iraq since 2003.  Eight hundred and fifty in Afghanistan.  Six thousand five hundred people died from swine flu in 2009, worldwide.

All of these instances have received understandable media coverage.

But Haiti’s death toll is almost 1000 times that of the Pentagon. More than thirty times the losses of 9-11. Twenty times the soldiers lost in Iraq. Fifteen times that lost to swine flu.

It is so big.

So what can we do? We can, and have, given to charitable organizations who are on the ground in Haiti, delivering basic supplies, medical assistance and coordinating recovery efforts. In just a few days, $12 million has been generated in ten dollar increments for the American Red Cross by text messaging alone.

We are a generous people.

And catastrophes tend to bring us together, and bring out the best in us.

So I have an idea.

What if we could keep that generosity going? Certainly to Haiti as it rebuilds.

But also to Flint, Michigan, as it recovers.

And to Schenectady and Siler City. And to Des Moines and Danville.

And to Main Street and to your very own street.

Amid our personal concerns about our financial health and prospects for the future, what if we made a commitment to keep on being as generous in the future as we are right now?

What if, as a business owner, you hired someone and accepted a slightly smaller profit margin for yourself?

What if, as a homeowner, you hired someone to repair your roof rather than get up on a ladder?

What if, as a corporation, you added just one percent to your workforce?

What if, as a bank, you lent money to people who will use it to create opportunity for others through employment?

What if, as a society, we figuratively kept texting each other $10 each day?

Why, we’d change everything.

Loving Change

It’s funny. I am usually the cock-eyed optimist who writes about how to create more happiness and joy in your life and your work.

I often tell you to focus on what’s working, and do more of that, and do less of the stuff that drains you or makes you unhappy.

I will tell you that’s The Secret of Life.

However.

Today, I’m telling you that sometimes, to make a change, you have to dwell in what really stinks.

Today, I’m suggesting that you have to wade right in and bathe in what’s worst about your situation to really make a change.

You know, maybe it’s human nature to hate change. Maybe it’s human nature to gaze at the bright side and tell ourselves that it’s really not so bad, this is what we need to do, maybe something else would be worse. Or harder. Or suck even more than the sucky thing we are already acquainted with.

But when you’re exhausted, or sick, or heavier than you need to be… Or when you have a short fuse, or are constantly on edge, or hate going into your office…

Then you’ve gotta start loving change.

It’s kind of like making your grandmother’s favorite casserole. The recipe calls for sour cream, butter, cream of mushroom soup, cream cheese and cheddar. You love your grandmother, and you love her cooking. Brings back memories. But eating sour cream, butter, cream of mushroom soup, creamed cheese and cheddar all baked together is not how you want to live your life today.

To change the recipe to suit the way you want to eat today, you make changes. Substitutions. Like using chicken broth, herbs, more protein. Sure, it’s not grandma’s recipe exactly. It might taste kind of like hers, but really – it’s yours now.

You know I have the idea that we each have 100 units of energy to spend each day. Yesterday’s are gone, and tomorrow’s belong to tomorrow. All you’ve got is 100 to use today. And if you have created day-after-day which calls for 120, you’ve got a problem.

It’s just like having too much dairy and fat in a recipe.

Something’s gotta go.

This is something that I’ve begun to realize about my own life. There are tactics, approaches, habits, ways of being, that worked for me as a coach, say, five years ago, but don’t particularly work for me today.

So, I’m going to let them go.

I’ll admit it – I feel a little uncertain about the changes I’m going to make. Will they work? Will I be happy? Will I make the revenue I want to make?

Truth? I don’t know. I could be making a mistake.

But.

The alternative – not making a change – feels like continuing to eat food that’s satisfying, but not really supportive of the way I really want to live.

You’re probably wondering what I’m going to do.

Right?

I’m going to do less one-on-one coaching, and focus on groups, workshops, retreats and speaking. I’m talking about having maybe five individual clients. That seems about right to me.

And it’s a big shift. Because right now? I’ve got about 20 individual clients. And the paradigm for many coaches is a plethora of clients. For many coaches, that’s their bread and butter. The source of most of their revenue. And I’m letting that go.

Kinda scary.

What I want is more time to create. What I want is more time to focus. What I want is a few of the absolutely right clients to work with very closely. And I want a bunch of the absolutely right people to work with in groups.

Because I have a priority around creating. Which is hard to do when you’re flat out. So I am reallocating my energy units so I can have the space, and time, to create.

Maybe you’ve created a recipe for your life that once worked, but isn’t working so well for how you want to live your life today. If so, wade right in and figure out what ingredients need to be swapped out. Figure out how to make a satisfying dish out of healthier stuff. And love that change.

Change: Tastes great. And, less filling.

Happy New (Fill In The Blank)!

OK, I live with teenagers. And teenagers are amazing, wonderful, vexing creatures. They are truly experimenters – trying on this idea, that sweater, this hairstyle, that belief system.

I love them.

Because they remind me to think outside the box and change things up, too.

Let me ask you this: Why is it, just because we started a new calendar year, that people do all sorts of planning, resolutions and intention-setting? (”Calendars are arbitrary and made up by some ancient Romans anyway, Mom,” says the Dude, true to teen form.)

Well, my coach brain says: “Doesn’t really matter. Today’s just as good as any other day.”

And I do love me a good plan. So, I jumped right on in, regardless of who made the calendar.  Just before the end of 2009, I released a Personal Planning Tool and about a thousand people have downloaded it.   You can, too, by clicking on the highlighted text.

What I tried to do with the tool is create a way to make a Plan That Works.

But let’s take a minute to talk about change. Because I can make all the plans I want, and if I don’t execute them… they ain’t nothing but paper.

And if I don’t execute them, it’s likely because I’m afraid of change.

Laurie would like to leave her job. She’s been there five years, there’s no room for growth, her co-workers are not “her people” and she doesn’t fit in.  It’s time to go.  But she can’t.  Oh, she routinely tries.  She puts together a resume, sends out one or two, has a coffee with a prospect and gets cold feet and stops looking.

Why?

Because she’s scared.  Because she tells herself that maybe  things aren’t really that bad where she is, that maybe she’s unhireable, maybe she needs that Master’s degree, maybe all jobs are disgusting, time-sucking, mind-numbing black holes – so in that case why not stay in the time-sucking, mind-numbing black hole that she knows?

Here’s the real thing holding Linda back – she sees no real, positive outcome to making a change.

Not one positive thing.

And until she can see one, she’s not going to execute her plan.

Same goes for Kristen, who wants to lose 40 pounds.  Ask her to envision an outcome to that kind of weight loss, and if she’s honest with you (and herself) she’d say: “People would expect more from me, because they would see that I can make things happen. Oh, wow, I might have to dress better. I might look like a hoochie-mama. I might find someone other than my husband attractive, I might get divorced, I might have to move. What about my kids? I dunno, losing weight would mean I have to change too much.”

Who would lose weight with that kind of dismal future in mind?

When you complete your Personal Planning Tool, there might be things you’ll need to change.  And you might feel some teensy (or humongous) resistance.  That’s the moment to say to yourself, “What will happen if I really do this?”  Listen to the negative outcomes and learn everything you can about your fears. But don’t let fear stop you, baby.  Immediately start focusing on one positive outcome.  Just one.

“If I find a new job, I can have more friends.”

“If I lose 40 pounds, I can start skiing again.”

Just one positive thing.  It’ll do the trick.

So, Happy New (Fill In The Blank)!  How are you going to fill your blank?

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