Would You Like Fries With That?


During my senior year in high school, it became glaringly evident that my need for hip huggers and puka shells exceeded my parents’ willingness to underwrite my wardrobe.

It was clear that I needed a job.

One crisp autumn day, I walked into the fast food restaurant closest to school — a Roy Rogers, then owned by Marriott — and asked if they were hiring.  I imagine I was wearing jeans with huge bell bottoms.  I may have had a plaid shirt on.  I was likely wearing either desert boots or Famolare Wave Sole shoes.

I was totally rocking the fashion. Which is why I was looking for a job in the first place.

The manager, a woebegone man who’d seen many a late night and too few an early morning, looked me over, head to toe, and wearily asked,”What do you do over at the high school?”

“Well,” I chirped. “I’m President of the Student Union, on the Superintendent’s Advisory Committee, in the ski club, in the drama club, and I’ve applied for early admission to Virginia Tech.”

I was hired on the spot, and given a schedule and a uniform.

Roy Rogers was a Western-themed fast food restaurant, so my uniform consisted of a calico skirt, a white peasant-type blouse and a red and white cowboy hat.

Which totally offended my fashion sensibilities.  And since the restaurant was across the street from my high school, I was continually embarrassed to be seen by classmates who came in for a tasty Double-R-Bar burger.

But Marriott offered a terrific training program.  Believe it or not,  I use what I learned then every single day.

  • I rotate my stock — when I go to the grocery store, the new can of diced tomatoes goes behind the old so I’m always using the oldest stuff first.
  • I know when to flip — my hamburgers come out medium every time.
  • I know how to listen to customers and what they want.

And I know how to do suggestive selling.  Which is when you ask, “Would you like fries with that?” or, since our Roy Rogers fries came in particular packaging, “Would you like a ‘holster’ of fries?”  [Yes, the large fries were served in a cardboard gun holster.  What can I say?  It was a different time.]

I mention suggestive selling for a reason.

News reports out this week indicate that the real U.S. unemployment rate  stands at 17.5 percent:

In all, more than one out of every six workers — 17.5 percent — were unemployed or underemployed in October. The previous recorded high was 17.1 percent, in December 1982.

This includes the officially unemployed, who have looked for work in the last four weeks. It also includes discouraged workers, who have looked in the past year, as well as millions of part-time workers who want to be working full time. (New York Times, Nov. 6, 2009)

If you are out of a job, now is the time to do some suggestive selling.

In a regular economy, 70% of job openings are not even advertised and are filled by personal referral.  In my experience, right now it seems that about 90% of jobs are filled that way — because if an organization can only hire one person, they want a sure thing.  A personal referral from someone who knows you and has worked with you is testimony that you’re smart, sharp and can do the work.  With a meaningful personal referral, you will get you the interview, and probably the position.

To get the referral, you have to suggestively sell your contacts.  You have to tell them what you want and how you can solve the pain of an employer.  Because all job hires are made because someone, somewhere is in pain.  There’s the pain of work overload, there’s the pain of work not getting done, there’s the pain of opportunities missed.

There’s always pain.  Identify it, sell how you can solve it, and you will rise to the top of the list.

If you’re working part-time, it’s even more important to suggestively sell.  Saying things like, “I noticed that XYZ is not getting done. I’d be happy to do it,” is the perfect way to move into a full-time slot.

And remember.  Every job in your past has contributed to the skill set you have now.  Play up all of your talents to sell yourself. Just because you had a certain job title in your last position doesn’t mean you are limited to only that kind of work. I’ll bet there are a lot of things you can do.  Even though I’m no longer “Pardner Of The Month” (March, 1978), I could walk in any fast food joint today and make a credible hamburger.

And know how to ask, as I was trained, “Would you like fries with that?”

A Good Cry

The other day I saw a young father holding his young son in his arms. The boy was crying, and the father kept saying, “Now, stop your crying. Listen to me. Stop crying.”

Of course, the little boy only cried harder.

And that’s how it goes, right? As I walked past I thought of all the times I told my children to stop crying. Why? Because their tears made me uncomfortable. Geez, it was awkward. I had no clue what to do with a crying child. I was worried what other people thought of me as a mother — I mean, my kid was sobbing hysterically. Doesn’t that trigger the Really Bad Mother Alert?

As I watched that young father, my heart went out to him. And I thought about what I’d do now if I were in that same spot.

I think I’d say to my little child, “Honey, it looks like you need some time to cry. How much time do you think you might need? OK. I’ll be right over here — you take all the time you want.” And I’d sit and wait until the crying was done.

‘Cuz sometimes we all need to cry.

I’d let my kid decide when he was through feeling sad or angry or whatever, rather than tell him when to stop. If we’re told to deny our unpleasant feelings when we’re very young, how in the world can we expect to know how to handle them when we’re adults?

There are a lot of people out of a job today. Yet, many of them are stuck in their job search. Why? Because they haven’t honored what they really need — understanding and acceptance of why they were let go from their previous job. Every single day they get that old message, “Stop it now. Stop crying. Suck it up. Get on with it.”

And this is why folks get stuck. And why they bomb job interviews. And they remain in limboland.

Because they haven’t taken time to honor the full sweep of their emotions over losing their last job.

If your self-talk is all about the past — the wrongs done to you, how stupid your old boss was, what idiots they were to keep Joe and let you go (sound at all familiar?) — then do yourself a favor. Set yourself up for success by taking some time to fully feel how sad you are. Mourn the real loss you’ve suffered.

You may have heard that your results reveal your true intentions, and that is absolutely, 100% true. If you are out of work and not really working on your job search, what might be holding you back is the past.

“Oh, sure,” you say. “I’m out of work and she wants me to get all introspective! I don’t have time — I need some money!”

I’m not saying wallow. Or become paralyzed. I’m saying have yourself a good cry for as long as you need to. I’m saying let it out and let it go. And then wipe your eyes and get back on track.

Because when you finally come to terms with the grief you’ve been denying, you will have let go of the past and planted your feet firmly in today. Let go of the past, sugar, and it has no power over you. You’ll be happier, and look happier, and feel happier.

And happy people are the people who get hired.

The Results Club

My friend and fellow Master Coach Chris Brandt and I were talking about how we could contribute to the world in 2009. If we were to use our skills to “be a force for good,” as I put it, what would that look like? How could we put our skills and talents together to meet a need? The result of that conversation is The Results Club.

The headlines tell the story: “Unemployment Rises,” “No Sector Untouched,” “Executives Downsized.” The global unemployment is higher than many of us have ever seen. And finding a job right now can be tough. Especially for a mid-career executive who’s highly skilled, and highly paid.

To answer precisely this need, Chris and I have built an 8-week support program for mid/upper-level professionals who find themselves in job search mode, called The Results Club.

This unique and innovative program provides a step-by-step approach to any executive job search. Plus, each class is supplemented by a secure discussion forum, where tools, ideas, tactics and information can be shared within The Results Club community.

Drawing on our own networks and our many years of experience — Chris as a Human Resources executive with organizations like News Corporation and Swiss Re, plus various financial services companies and startups, and my leadership positions in corporate America, with dot-com startups, and at the White House, as well as my job as Career Advice Coach at www.BettyConfidential.com — we have assembled a fantastic slate of speakers who can offer cutting edge advice to today’s job search.

Each webinar class will feature an interview with an expert, offer innovative tips & tools, and the opportunity for one-on-one coaching with me and Chris. Here’s the schedule:

January 28th – Taking Stock & Making a Plan: Featuring an interview with Dr. Martha Beck, author of Finding Your Own North Star and Steering By Starlight

February 4th – Creating a Resume that Works: Featuring an interview with Bonnie Kurka, Vice President of the National Resume Writers Association

February 11th – Speak Up! How to Interview: Featuring an interview with Cyndi Maxey and Kevin O’Connor, co-authors of Speak Up! How to Present Like a Pro

February 18th – Networking: Featuring an interview with Liz Lynch, author of Smart Networking

February 25th – Maximizing Social Media: Featuring an interview with Pam Slim, blogging expert and author of Escape From Cubicle Nation

March 4th – Reinventing Your Career in Mid-life: Featuring an interview with Mary Beth Sammons, author of Second Acts That Change Lives

March 11th – Salary Negotiations/Working with Recruiters: Featuring an interview with executive recruiters

March 18th Staying on Course: tips, tactics and plans to keep your job search moving forward, featuring a panel of career coaches.

The total cost for the 8-week program is $375 (USD). Space is limited – register today!

The Power of You


There’s a quote I particularly love… do you know it?

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”(Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love)

When I work with people — whether they’re looking for a job, or trying to do the job they have better, whether they have a big decision to make or a crisis to handle — they focus on where they feel weak. Time after time I see people stuck and wallowing in their deficit, when the only solution is to stand in their strengths.

To allow themselves to be powerful beyond measure.

What do I mean? How do you shift from a position of weakness to strength?

It’s not waiting for someone else to give you permission to do what’s best for you.

It’s saying what you need to say — including the word “no” — rather than what you’re expected to say.

It’s doing more of what you’re good at and that you like, rather than doing things that sap you.

It’s about knowing, deeply, yourself and loving everything about you. Even the extra pounds, the bad hair days, the annoying habits, the fear. ‘Cuz once you love that about yourself, you are open to loving it about others.

When you stand in your power, you become powerful beyond measure. I’m not talking about the kind of power that gives you dominion over others or makes you rich or famous. I’m talking about the kind of power that makes you clear. Happy. Certain. Authentic.

I’m talking about the power that you already have inside you. I’m talking about The Power of You.

It’s right there inside you — all your strengths, gifts and talents. All you have to do is use them. Every day. And you will profoundly change your life.

Finding A Job 2.0


You need a job. $4 Gas has come and gone in the rearview mirror. And milk is more expensive than gas! You really need a job. Like yesterday.

Helpful people are telling you that no one’s hiring, times are tough, you might as well give up, yadda yadda yadda.

Depressing. Especially if you want a job in, oh, energy, banking, the car industry…

But let me fill you in on a little secret: jobs are open in other sectors and people are getting hired.

So, how do you find those open positions and get yourself in the interview pool? Use the tools I call “Finding A Job 2.0″. Ready?

Think big. Big picture, that is. Take a really big picture look at your skills — it doesn’t matter what the industry is, if you know how to manage people, you know how to manage people. Ditto for handling budgets, problem solving, strategic planning, program management and tons of other areas. Focus on your most transferable skills, and make these the backbone of your search.

Know what you want to do. I know, you need a job. Any job. But when you succinctly define what it is you can do, it makes it so much easier for other people to understand and help you. Develop your own “elevator speech” — two to three sentences that capture the essence of what you want. For instance, “I’m looking for an executive director or VP position at a non-profit working on green issues. I’ve worked in this field for fifteen years and really know the issues, and like managing people.” I understand that completely, and can refer you to two or three people who can help you.

Network with people you know. Over 70% of jobs are filled by personal referral. That means your Christmas card list, cell phone directory, email contacts, alumni directory and community phone book are your most important tools. Go through these personal lists and identify people who are already in the field where you want to work. Contact them, give them your elevator speech and ask if they know of any openings. Even if they don’t have an immediate lightbulb moment, you’ve planted a seed in their minds — they’ll remember you the next time they hear about something that would be perfect for you.

Network with people you don’t know. If a friend says, “You should really meet my friend Tom”, then go see Tom. Worst case scenario? You’ll meet a new friend. Best case? Tom will know of a job for you. You can also use LinkedIn, Facebook, alumni discussion boards. Consider these opportunities to expand the reach of your resume and bio. Word to the wise? You can spend more time “updating” your social marketing pages than you do working on your job search. Use your time wisely.

Morph your resume. Gone are the days when you had one resume that a printer typeset for you on ivory laid paper. Many resumes are scanned into a humungous database, so make certain the words you use are keywords recruiters will use to fill a position like the one you seek. If you’re responding to a particular job opening, tailor your resume to that job. Use the same keywords they use in the job posting. Stress that you have the skills they seek. And feel free to alter your resume for the next opening you pursue.

Write thank you notes. Sure, it’s a holdover tactic from Finding A Job 1.0, but, hey, don’t fix what ain’t broke! The number of people who write thank you notes by hand is dwindling, so you will stand out when you’re one of the few who use this tactic. Plus, gratitude is a happy place to be. Expressing your gratitude will increase your overall happiness and keep you positive for your next job interview.

Searching for a job in uncertain economic times is… uncertain. But by employing 2.0 tactics, you can make your job search efficient, effective and maybe, just maybe, quick.