No soy una “Superwoman”

Parece haber muchas mujeres que intentan convencerse a sí mismas y a los demás de que son perfectas. El pelo perfectamente peinado, teñido y rizado. El cuerpo atlético y en forma. La ropa a la última, sexy y con estilo. Los niños obedientes, con un correcto comportamiento y las mejores notas en todo. El marido atractivo, rico, atento.

Creen que necesitan ser Superwoman. Quieren de todo con tal de ser perfectas.

Pero yo sé lo que les pasa por dentro.

Mientras están luchando por ser perfectas, sienten algún pero. La vida es una serie de experiencias donde ellas no son bastante, y lo más posible es que no puedan hacer bastante. Miran a las mujeres a su alrededor y se sienten inferiores, y tratan de ocultar que están totalmente agobiadas tratando de estar al nivel. Aprietan los dientes y sonríen a través del estrés de las expectativas de una Superwoman.

Como soy orientadora personal, la gente suele creer que yo llevo esa vida perfecta. Ayer, estaba en una tienda donde venden mi libro “Pierde peso, encuentra el amor, reordena tu vida y ahorra dinero: Ensayos para vivir más feliz”, y el encargado me dijo, inclinando su nariz aquilina hacia mí:
- ¿Usted vive lo que escribe?

Yo le sonreí con dulzura y contesté:
- Absolutamente

Y lo hago. Pero deja que te diga unas cositas que harán que mañana sea un poco más fácil para todas las que quieren ser superwoman:

Yo no soy superwoman. Ni estoy cerca.

A veces, lo único que me preocupa de mi ropa es: ¿Llevo todo limpio?

Mi casa por lo general siempre necesita que se pase la aspiradora.

Se sabe que suelo sacar a los niños a comer fuera.

Me olvido muchas veces de devolver llamadas, y soy terrible para recordar cumpleaños.

Planifico mi calendario siempre de más.

Soy divorciada.

No, no soy superwoman. Y estoy realmente contenta de no serlo. Porque lo que soy es 100% Michele. Tengo cuatro prioridades, y si puedo lidiar con ellas todos los días, estoy haciendo un magnífico trabajo. ¿Queréis saber cuáles son? Estar en cuerpo y alma con mis hijos y con cualquiera con quien esté. Cuidar mi salud física, financiera, emocional y espiritual. Aprender. Orientar.

Y eso es todo. El pelo, las uñas, el maquillaje, los zapatos…. Si llego, bien.

O sea, soy una chica imperfecta, y me encanta 100% mi perfecta vida imperfecta.

Si estás luchando por hacer lo correcto, por ser perfecta, por tenerlo todo, deja que te haga una pregunta: ¿Puedes llegar al punto de dejar de intentar ser una mítica superwoman, y encontrar el punto donde seas una verdadera chica imperfecta, auténticamente tú, feliz con lo que tienes, sintiéndote bien en tu piel, atendiendo a tus propias prioridades? Vamos, inténtalo. Todo lo que puedes perder será estrés. Todo lo que puedes ganar es a ti misma. Y para mí estará perfectamente Ok si no lo haces a la perfección.

Failure, and What I Did About It

Trophy



Guess what? I’m a winner. That’s right, a winner. Who has just canceled her fall book tour. Yep, the tour you all have been hearing so much about. And this winner is telling the whole world the honest truth – that she canceled the fall book tour because not enough people signed up.

A real winner, huh?

But according to writer Seth Godin, “Extraordinary benefits accrue to the tiny majority with the guts to quit early and refocus their efforts on something new.”

Phew. That’s a relief.

Bet you’ve been here, too. Maybe in a different way, but I’ll bet you’ve had a moment or two where you’ve had to ask yourself the question: Do I quit? Do I stick? What will people think?

I worried about that, too. I fretted: “If I can’t fill my book tour workshops, people will be surprised, they’ll think less of me and won’t hire me as a coach. I’ll be a loser.

But I am absolutely certain that there’s something to learn for me here in Failure Land, and maybe there’s something here for you, too. That’s why I’m not hiding the book tour cancellation, and why I’m not taking to my bed for three weeks with a case of Godiva.

I’ve been constructing events since I was a class officer in high school. I’ve done events for the President of the United States. My largest event? Over 250,000 people on the National Mall in DC. I know events. But I made some stupid mistakes organizing the book tour:

  1. A book called I Am Not Superwoman is going to attract women (duh) age 35-55 who have kids. And I selected the first couple weeks of the school year to launch my tour.  The busiest time of the year.  What was I thinking?
  2. I chose a Saturday in Knoxville, Tennessee.  A football Saturday.  A home-game football Saturday.  In Tennessee.  Do I know nothing about the South?
  3. I priced the event based on comparable events friends have held around the country.  Not taking the recession into account.  Or the way credit has dried up.  Or how people are now saving.  Or the difficulties of the entrenched unemployed.  I was planning as if it’s still 2007. And it’s not.
  4. I called the book I Am Not Superwoman, which is catchy but is a hard sell to my guy clients and readers.  And there’s a bunch of you guy clients and readers.  I could have used a broader title to broaden the community who supports it.

And here’s the Magilla Gorilla of my mistakes:

I paid too much attention to people who told me I really “should” do a book tour to support this book.

And I knew better. This book didn’t really call for a tour. I really knew that, deep down.

Oh, the book is good.  Plenty of people have written about it here, here, here and here.  It’s a fast read, with plenty of useful, thoughtful ideas and tips.  I think you’ll like it if you haven’t picked up a copy yet.

But what I do every day is coach men and women executives to more fulfilling work.  And while the concept of Superwoman may tangentially fit, it’s not a perfect fit.

By giving too much weight to what others said I “should” do, I believe I confused you all.

But now, I want to encourage you.

You’re going to make mistakes.  You’re going to fail.  We all do.  As someone once said to me, “It’s not how you fall – everyone is going to fall – it’s how you bounce that matters.”

I’m telling you, publicly, about my mistakes to give you the space to take a look at your own.  Mistakes are not the end of the world, you know.  What you do is this:  you learn from your mistakes.  You take the gift that each mistake offers – because just like a Tootsie Roll Pop, there’s chewy goodness inside every failure – and you make next time better.

I’m re-focusing my work now on lower cost offerings, and free stuff, and other ways to support this book and my other work. Rather than being mired in my mistakes, I’m correcting myself and planning for the future.

Hey, it’s how you bounce.

Shameless Self Promotion

I Am Not Superwoman


It’s going to be a happy, action-packed fall for yours truly.  Thought I’d give you a sense of what’s on my dance card, and extend an open invitation – join in on anything that appeals to you.  You’re absolutely welcome and I’d love to see you.

September starts off with a bang – my book tour for I Am Not Superwoman: Further Essays On Happier Living. In each city, I’ll be leading a 5 hour workshop using tools and ideas in the book to help all of us would-be Superwomen relax, take a deep breath and craft work and life that matters.  The calendar looks like this:

September 15th – Washington, DC (Chevy Chase) 9:30am – 2:30pm (hosted by Karen Anillo)

September 22nd – Richmond, VA  9:30am – 2:30pm (hosted by Beth Hanna)

September 24th – Atlanta, GA  9:30am – 2:30pm Druid Hills Golf Club (hosted by Laurie Foley)

September 25th – Knoxville, TN  9:30am – 2:30pm (hosted by Jennifer Voss)

October 1st – Chicago, IL  9:30am – 2:30pm (hosted by Dana Frost and Mary Beth Sammons)

October 8th – Annapolis, MD  9:30-2:30pm (sponsored by St. Anne’s School Parent’s Association)

Each workshop offers an autographed copy of my book, five hours of great tools, exercises and learning plus a supportive, interesting group of women to meet and work with.  You’ll get a delicious lunch, too!  $179 for the day in each location.

Additional dates are being planned in Southern California, Houston and New York City.  If you’d like to help, or come, or have other suggestions, please drop me a note.

If you are anywhere close to these cities, I would love to see you.  Come by, will you?  And stay tuned for sign-up information – coming soon!


I also have a wonderful group formingdesigned especially for women asking “What’s Next?” I’ve run this program several times before and it’s always a great success for those participating. In a three month process, you’ll work in a small group with other like-minded people – who are all working on discovering What’s Next?

We’ll work on getting clear on your strengths, values, priorities and passions, then take steps to determine how and where you can get more of what you want in your life.

Starting Tuesday, September 14th, we’ll meet every other week at 7pm (EST) in an intensive 90 minute phone conference, where you’ll get great coaching and support from me and from the group.  Dates:  September 14, 28, October 12, 26, November 9, 23. You’ll get: A comprehensive Myers-Briggs Type Indicator™ with a thorough analysis of what it means for you; other assessments, worksheets and tools to uncover the best of you; homework and assignments; email support between sessions; and, the great feeling that comes from working in a group with other like-minded people.


If you’re a coach, or becoming a coach, I’m launching a cool class series with Master Coach Alexis Robin – you’ll learn everything you need to know about creating events, from people who know how to do them.  The largest event I’ve ever planned involved about 250,000 people on the Washington Mall.  Alexis has a rich experience in hotels.  Together, we’ll teach you everything you need to know about using events to grow your business.


And also for coaches, my pal Master Coach Pam Slim and I are offering a Marketing Strategy Intensive October 15 – 16, at the Roger Williams Hotel in NYC.  Working with a high-powered, small group, you won’t just learn how to market your business – no, you’ll walk away with a specific, executable strategic plan.  Don’t miss this one – we have a special guest star coming, too:  Crystal Williams of BigBrightBulb.com will do her magic to make your plan that much better!  More details coming shortly.

Yes, it’s a lot of stuff, but I look forward with enthusiasm – what great people I will see!  What great work we’ll do!  What fun we’ll have.


Join us, won’t you?