Let’s Re-Cap

Want to take a walk with me? Let’s walk back through some of our favorite blog posts of the year, shall we? And feel free to dawdle wherever you want.

We looked at a big, honking question on February 8th – What’s Your Why? Using the book Man’s Search For Meaning by Viktor Frankl as a framework, I talked about how to figure out your own, personal “Why?” so it’s easier to get to the “What?” and the “How?”

Power Talk on February 15th was all about how to nail a job interview, or shore up your position at work. “Why not use this question — “what are your expectations for me in the coming months?” — with your boss, or your board, or, if you’re brave enough, with your subordinates? Why not use this question to touch base, and to “sell” yourself and your abilities?”

The Absence of Perfect, Part 2 on March 1st looked at perfectionism: “You can hold on to your idea of “perfect” or, as I suggest, you can ask yourself, ‘what’s my best option right now?’”

Meeting Faith on April 12th was a personal favorite. I really did meet Faith. On an airplane. And she’s a PhD candidate with a fascinating personal story. Meeting Faith restored my faith that strangers are just friends I haven’t met yet.

Do Less, Get More from May 24th was not a slacker’s mantra, but rather an explanation of my 100 Units Of Energy theory. Oh, and it comes with a free recording!

Change your thoughts, change your life. That was the subject of A New Normal on May 31st. “When normal’s not working for you, just make a new normal.” Sounds so easy, doesn’t it?

Deep in the throes of writing a book that is still in process, I shared How To Tell A Story on June 7th, which debuted my simple tool: Now Words/Future Words. When you look at how things are now compared to how you’d like things to look in the future, you can consciously shift away from stuff that’s limiting you – toward stuff you really want.

Did I tell you about Meeting Sandra Day O’Connor? Yes, as a matter of fact, I did. On June 28th. This is a post about authenticity and knowing oneself. As Madame Justice clearly does (for those keeping track, this is the post about Being Your Own Buddha).

More Than Anything from July 26th, asked: “‘What do you want more than anything right now?’ Stop. You have an immediate answer, don’t you? That’s your gut talking to you.” Listen.

What’s The Point? on August 2 struck a chord with, “Never confuse urgency and drama with meaning and purpose.”

And this one was an eye-opener. Mama Ain’t Happy from September 20th discussed the disturbing findings that once a woman hits 47, her happiness declines rather dramatically. How to cope? Well, I urge women to… misbehave. Yep, misbehave and have fun.

In You on October 18, I talked about how you can change your language and find your power. It’s as simple as changing “don’t” to “will”.

As in, “I will keep writing my blog in 2010″ And, I will. Every week. I thank each of you for reading, and for sharing posts that resonate with your friends and family. It’s a pleasure, a privilege and a responsibility to write – and an honor when you tell me that something I’ve written has touched your life.

So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for the connection between us. Bring on 2010. We’re ready, so let’s get going.

Your Personal Brand

Back in March, I did a survey and you told me that you wanted more free stuff. Since then I’ve obliged every month with a free conference call class — the most recent of which covered Your Personal Brand. Here’s a link to the recording:

Now, as someone recently said to me on the phone, we can make this easy or we can make this hard.

And while I usually choose easy — because that often means using my strengths and existing in the effortless part of The Zone — today I’m choosing hard.

I know.

Easy would be writing a blog post about personal branding using the outline I created for the class because 1.) I got all that stuff prepped and ready, 2.) I could write on autopilot and then go take a walk, and 3.) the resulting post would probably be widely read across the internet due to the subject matter, leading more people to my site, increasing my traffic and making me a transitory niche celebrity.

But that potentially well-read post would be derivative. There wouldn’t be anything new in it. Nothing that would make anyone who listened to the class sit up and say, “Whoa!”

Which is what I endeavor to do. People tell me they enjoy reading what I write because I take things they already know and make it thought-provoking. I help people look at things in a new way, I’m told.

Guess you could say that’s part of my personal brand.

So, to be true to my brand — thought-provoking, insightful, useful — I have to choose hard over easy today.

Your personal brand — which really boils down to the value you bring to others plus your integrity — may, sometimes, require you to choose hard, too. In those moments when easy is in direct conflict with what you stand for. And what you want to do.

And who you want to be.

Listen to the class. Do the exercises. Understand your personal brand, then make sure that you are using what you’ve learned consistently — in your resume, in job interviews, in your blog posts, across social media, in your life. And watch as your life opens up to you.

Because being conscious of your own personal brand is really about living in alignment with your integrity and what’s best about you. And when you’re truly in alignment that way, life becomes easy.

Except in those instances when you choose hard. Which, come to think of it, is really quite easy.

Survey Says!

Thanks to everyone who responded to my survey in the last couple of weeks. If you haven’t had the chance yet, and would like to give me your two cents — Michele Woodward’s Survey.

The results so far have been extremely helpful. I have a good sense of what you like, and what you’d like more of. And I’m going to give it to you.

First, you want more free stuff.

To that end, I’m going to start offering a free class every month via conference call. The first one will be on managing your anxiety around the economy, your job, and the future. I think I will call it “Yikes! What’s Going On With the Economy!”(working title, natch) Scheduled for noon (eastern) Friday, March 27th, you can access the call by dialing 712/941-0216 and enter PIN 987411.

I’ll explain some ideas, teach some practical coping tools, then we’ll have time for you to ask me any question you’ve got on your mind.

Think it’s going to be great.

Second, you want some lower cost stuff.

To that end, I’ll throw this out there. I love doing small group coaching. Love, love, love it. So if you have a group of people who are all facing the same kinds of issues — going back to work, starting a business, looking for a job, facing an empty nest, reinventing lives — think about forming a coaching group. I will facilitate, teach, lead, design the program, and be the coach to everyone. It’s a cost-effective way to get moving forward, with the added benefit of moving forward with supportive, like-minded people.

If you build it, I will come.

In the next six weeks, I’m going to a trade association, a law firm, a women’s group, a mom’s group at a church, and maybe to a hedge fund company, to give presentations and classes. Several survey respondents said they wished I had more in-person classes they could attend.

I’d love that, too.

Problem is — space. So, if you have space and would like to host a series of classes, let me know. I’d love to offer this kind of service.

And, speaking of service, in response to several of you, I’m offering a special package to help you prepare for job interviews or performance reviews. Quick, focused, to-the-point coaching sessions and you’ll walk into the meeting prepared for success. If you’re at the place where you want to have an edge that puts you over the top, this package may just be the thing for you. Call me.

I’m going to continue to offer book recommendations, because everyone seems to enjoy those. Even me! And you gave me some great insight into other blog topics you want to see. Know what the most popular topic is? Getting clear on priorities. I promise we’ll do work on that in the months to come.

One great suggestion that I’d also like to implement — you know I love connecting people to other people, to things or to ideas that help them solve their problems. So how about this nifty idea? If you have a product or a service that might be useful or interesting to other readers, let me know. I’m going to make that a new feature in upcoming newsletters.

So, lots of great changes as a result of your thoughtful input. I really appreciate the time you took and the generosity of spirit you each showed. Thanks to you, I can do more of what I’m good at — on terms that mean more to you.

Can’t get much better than that.

Living on the Contribution Side

On Friday, I had a little issue. Big wind storm. Cable out, internet out, phone out. Followed the maze of my provider’s complicated customer service system only to find out that the problem was not with them, but with me. Turns out I had a surge, knocking out the power to the main box.

OK. Called an electrical repair firm that has done work with me before. Asked if someone could come out that day to repair the problematic power outlet. Simple enough request, huh?

Uh-uh. No, the young receptionist quickly told me three different reasons why she didn’t want my business. One: “We don’t do anything with phones.” (You’re not listening. It’s not my phone, it’s a power outlet.) Two: “We don’t work in your area today.” (Your office is half a mile from my house.) And, Three, after I succinctly asked, “So, you’re telling me that there is no possible way to get someone out to my house today?”: “Well, you wouldn’t want to pay the emergency rate.” (Her tone said, “Only idiots would pay that.”)

Yes, as a matter of fact I am exactly the kind of idiot who will consider the emergency rate. Which was $97. About $30 more than a regular visit.

Worth it to me.

Maybe not worth it to her.

It’s that idea — “I wouldn’t, so why would you?” — that keeps us from opportunities. It reflects a lack of confidence, maybe. Or a lack of appreciation. Or it’s a self-esteem thing. Or a self-centeredness thing. Regardless, there’s a fear there, and it’s probably the fear of being told no.

If I say, “You wouldn’t want to…” and you end up taking my suggestion — why, you’re actually agreeing with me. Ha, ha! I win!

But I really lose. I lose a customer, I lose a job, I lose confidence.

I seem to be doing a lot of work these days prepping people for job interviews and performance appraisals. Imagine going into one of these settings and saying, “You wouldn’t want to hire me, would you?” Or, “You don’t want to promote me, do you?” But if you have the idea “I wouldn’t hire/promote me” in your mind, you utterly telegraph that losing message. And you don’t get hired, or promoted. You just stay stuck.

Yet this is how many people approach life. Negative rather than positive. Subtraction rather than contribution.

Let me tell you, living life on the contribution side — focusing solely on how you can help in the given situation — fundamentally shifts everything.

Can you imagine what it would have been like if that young receptionist had listened carefully and said, “Sounds like you need an electrician. Our regular appointments are all booked up today, but we have an emergency system that might just be perfect for you. It’s just $30 more for the first half hour, and I could send someone over after 4pm. How’s that sound?”

See how she might have made it easy for me? See how she could have told me how she could fix my problem, rather than focus on how she couldn’t?

It’s all a matter of attitude. And language that clearly states how you can help. How are you doing on that? If you find yourself living in the negative, come on over to the contribution side. It’s nice here.

Because when you live on the contribution side, you make it easy for people to work with you, and to like you. And to pay you. When you live on the contribution side, you are focusing on what can happen, rather than what can’t.

When you live on the contribution side, life becomes about opening rather than closing. And know what’s opening? It’s you. You’re opening to good things happening in your life. And you can start today by simply asking yourself how can you contribute. And then, go ahead and do it.

Power Talk

Last week our Results Club session featured a fascinating conversation (if I do say so myself) with John Kador, author of 201 Best Questions To Ask On Your Interview, among plenty of other books.

John was talking about how to answer that old job interview chestnut, “So. Tell me a little about yourself.” John’s suggested response? “I’d be happy to tell you about myself, but first, may I ask a question?”

If you were the interviewer, what would you say? I’d say, “Sure, go ahead.”

And, guess what? By asking a question first, you’ve effectively changed the course of the conversation. You have the full attention of the interviewer and you are now in charge.

Don’t blow the opportunity.

John suggested you ask a question that is eerily similar to my Best Job Interview Question Ever: “What expectations do you have for this position?”

Great question. Because the answer tells you exactly what you need to focus on when you talk about yourself, your strengths and your skills.

And, I was thinking.

As I am wont to do.

Today, it’s as much about keeping a job as it is getting a job. And to keep your job you need to make sure people know how you’re contributing and how you’re fulfilling their needs.

Why not use this question — “what are your expectations for me in the coming months?” — with your boss, or your board, or, if you’re brave enough, with your subordinates? Why not use this question to touch base, and to “sell” yourself and your abilities?

Wouldn’t it be great to deliver exactly what someone wants and needs?

Wouldn’t that make you completely irreplaceable?

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