Mother’s Day


This column first appeared on Mother’s Day, 2007. Enjoy!

Today is Mother’s Day. I was surprised to learn that Mother’s Day is celebrated on this very day in over 50 countries. Everywhere, mothers are being pampered, fussed over and adored.

As I expect I will be. As someone’s mother myself, I will likely get the traditional breakfast in bed — the surprise of finding shells in my scrambled eggs is one of life’s delights. A surprise that goes exceedingly well with toast and jelly. Especially when made with love by the hands of my children.

But when it comes down to it, I’m not much of a special occasion kinda gal. Sometimes the forced, greeting card nature of a “special day” feels less than special.

So, I have a plan.

I move we dump this holiday and every other single holiday we celebrate during the year.

Yep. That’s right. I’m suggesting we have no Memorial Day, Fourth of July, Labor Day, Valentine’s Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, Passover, Easter, Yom Kippur or any other occasion we observe.

Including birthdays.

Oh, don’t panic — we’ll celebrate each one. But we’ll celebrate every single day.

If every day were Thanksgiving, we’d live as grateful people, surrounded by family and friends, keenly aware of the abundance in our lives.

If every day were Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, we’d immediately apologize for our mistakes and quickly reconcile our differences.

If every day were Valentine’s Day, we’d pay special attention to those we love.

If every day were Memorial Day, we’d take time to honor the service and sacrifice of our veterans, soldiers, sailors, airmen and Marines, and their families.

If every day were Easter, we’d be filled with awe for resurrection and the possibility of renewal in our own lives.

If every day were Christmas, joy and wonder would permeate our lives.

If every day were Labor Day, we’d celebrate how we do our work, and make it a source of pride.

If every day was Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, we’d remember to judge people on the content of their character and not the color of their skin.

If every day were your birthday, you’d feel special, and honored and loved.

And, if every day were Mother’s Day, all mothers would feel valued, honored and respected by both their families and society — 356 days a year.

Imagine the richness of your life if it were filled with the holiday spirit every day of the year. What could you do? What could you have? Who could you be? Joyful, conscious, loving, living with abundance and open to the wonders of the world?

That would certainly be worth celebrating.

Dog Days


They call them the Dog Days of Summer. As if all we can do is let our tongues loll out of our drooling mouths, and pant in the heat.

Which is exactly what I feel like doing.

Sure, there’s plenty going on. The Olympics. The Presidential campaign. Wars in Afghanistan, Iraq and, now, Russia vs. Georgia. The rising and falling price of energy. Credit card reform. Mortgage bailouts. Vice Presidential candidates and political conventions. A lot of hoopla, come to think of it.

And I don’t want to think about it. All I want to do is lay around, tongue lolling, and let August roll over me like a sauna bath. I want to emerge, sweaty and a few pounds lighter, just in time for September.

I want to eat popsicles, and let them drip from my fingers, leaving sticky, colorful trails down my arms.

I want to do a cannonball off the high dive.

I want to go to the movies and make it a double feature, just so I can sit in the air-conditioning.

I want to clothespin cards to my bike spokes and click-clack down the street.

I want Coppertone as my signature scent.

I want to shuck off all the trappings of this adult life and spend the next couple of weeks utterly retro.

So, even if — like me — you’ll be working rather than loafing, you can take a little time to get some summer in your life.

All it takes is one popsicle.

Repeal HAFTA!


It’s a political year, friends. So give me a minute to scramble up on my soapbox while I enter the fray.

Ahem.

There’s a lot of talk about change these days. Change with a purpose is a good thing. It’s time for big change, ladies and gentlemen. And I am going to propose a sweeping change for the American people — no, a sweeping change for the people of the world.

I’m not talking about ending taxes, or cutting social programs, or combating global climate change. I’m not talking about reform of labor laws, or a change to the legislative process. I’m not advocating a repeal of the Part 33 Rewrite of the Telecommunications Act. I’m not going to open that can of worms. Nor am I going to discuss NAFTA.

No, it’s not NAFTA I’m after. It’s “hafta”.

Friends, it’s time we stop allowing ourselves to be overwhelmed and stressed by all the things we hafta do. It’s time to stand strong and declare that hafta is done, finished and over. There are no more things we hafta do. There are only things we choose to do.

The other morning, a beautiful, blue spring morning, I was driving along enjoying the blooming dogwoods, the eye-popping redbuds and the luminous rhododendrons along my route. At a stoplight, I spied a fit, spandex-clad woman pushing a jogging stroller. Her face was drawn up in a scowl, her body was tight, and she was pushing that stroller like Sisyphus with his rock. Only she was running downhill.

“Where’s the joy?” was my first thought. There she was, on a staggeringly beautiful morning, out with her baby in the sunshine! What’s not to like? But it was as if she was doing penance, or submitting to a purgative. Her body language transmitted, “I am doing this only because I have to. Everyone knows a baby has to be out in the fresh air at least twice a day. I can’t wait until this is over.”

Poor child.

How different if that woman were to turn her point-of-view around and say, “I am the luckiest woman on the face of the planet to have the opportunity to be out with my darling child on such a gorgeous morning.” Imagine her body language under those circumstances.

Imagine your own.

What if your to-do list was blank, and the only things you had to do were things you are happy to do? That you choose to do? That give you energy and buoy your mood? Or, to use an idea of my friend and fellow coach Sharon Pfleiger, what if you could spend your time solely on the things on your “Get-To List”? As in “I get to plant my garden” or “I get to spend time with my best friend”, or, my favorite, “I get to say what I feel.”

Sure, there are things we don’t like to do. Personally, I’m not too fond of trash duty. However, it must be done. I try to do this chore quickly and efficiently so I don’t spend a ton of time on it. The recycling is sorted during the week, the bins are taken to the curb every Tuesday, and the compost pile gets a donation nearly daily. Could be yucky stuff. By not putting it off, or extending the amount of time it takes to finish the task, I make it easy — which frees up time for me to do something I really like. Something from my get-to list.

Like take a walk with my kid.

When you find yourself so governed by have-tos that you have no time for get-tos, then it’s time for change. It’s time for hope. It’s time, ladies and gentlemen, to repeal HAFTA.

Gratitudinous


I am grateful for:

Teenagers who aren’t too cool to giggle with their mom.

Friends who throw parties. And let me tour their upstairs.

Crocuses.

The promise inspired by synthetic Easter basket grass.

Smart people who become business partners.

Resiliency.

England Dan and John Ford Coley. And ITunes.

Shoes that fit and look cute.

Love.

Great salads.

The ability to take chances.

Writers of books that make me think.

Friends who move to Costa Rica to start a new life.

Email.

Being able to express myself.

Kissing a baby’s feet.

Creating.

The feet in sand, fingers in seawater kind of vacation.

Which I will be doing this week. So, enjoy yourselves in my absence. And remember: it’s hard to be stressed when you’re grateful. List the things you’re grateful for… and it will be just like you’re on vacation, too.

Funk Sway



The ancient Chinese art of feng shui seeks to correct or balance the energy in a place so that maximum happiness, prosperity and good fortune can occur. Feng shui is helpful in decluttering, redecorating and renovation. Practitioners train for years to understand the complex rules surrounding the harnessing of “chi” — the energy that surrounds us.

I have my own method of decluttering, redecorating and harnessing chi. It’s simple, with just a few rules. All you need is a CD player and the right music and you can change your life and your chi.

I call it “Funk Sway”, and it’s based on one universal premise: there is no way to be unhappy when you are dancing to classic funk music.

I am a certified Funk Sway master, and by reading this you will achieve your mastery, too.

Here’s what you do: go to the room you want to re-energize. This next step is a very important element to set the tone for the entire Funk Sway process: you must play the funk classic “Play That Funky Music (White Boy)” by Wild Cherry. Begin to sway…perchance to dance. When the song has concluded, choose your next song depending on what you’d like to achieve in your life.

To declutter, you must play “Pick Up The Pieces” by the Average White Band. Play it loud. Swaying will happen, trust me. Amid the swaying, and dancing, begin to literally pick up the pieces. In a few short minutes, you will be funk swaying your way into a tidier room!

To affirm your sense of gratitude, you need “Thank You (Falettime Be Mice Elf Agin)” by Sly and the Family Stone. Require some affirmation? It’s “Tell Me Something Good” by Rufus (and Chaka Khan, Chaka Khan). Want to develop a career in the movies? “Hollywood Swinging” by Kool and the Gang sets the proper tone. Lost something? Why, you need Parliament’s “Flashlight” (or maybe a… neon light).

Grateful for your health and body? “Brick House” by the Commodores. Need to focus on being a more empathetic individual? “I Feel For You (I Think I Love You)” by Chaka Khan (Chaka Khan — you know you always say it twice).

When you have met your objective for your Funk Sway session, the concluding song must be “Give Up The Funk (Tear The Roof Off The Sucker)”.

Your environment is now funkified. Your burdens have been laid down, and joy pervades.

It’s time to free your inner funkster. Open yourself to the messages of the universe, contained in a brutal back beat and righteous horn section. Sway to the funk. Be one with the funk.

It’s time to Funk Sway your chi, y’all.