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Survey Says!

March 15, 2009 By 1 Comment

Thanks to everyone who responded to my survey in the last couple of weeks. If you haven’t had the chance yet, and would like to give me your two cents — Michele Woodward’s Survey.

The results so far have been extremely helpful. I have a good sense of what you like, and what you’d like more of. And I’m going to give it to you.

First, you want more free stuff.

To that end, I’m going to start offering a free class every month via conference call. The first one will be on managing your anxiety around the economy, your job, and the future. I think I will call it “Yikes! What’s Going On With the Economy!”(working title, natch) Scheduled for noon (eastern) Friday, March 27th, you can access the call by dialing 712/941-0216 and enter PIN 987411.

I’ll explain some ideas, teach some practical coping tools, then we’ll have time for you to ask me any question you’ve got on your mind.

Think it’s going to be great.

Second, you want some lower cost stuff.

To that end, I’ll throw this out there. I love doing small group coaching. Love, love, love it. So if you have a group of people who are all facing the same kinds of issues — going back to work, starting a business, looking for a job, facing an empty nest, reinventing lives — think about forming a coaching group. I will facilitate, teach, lead, design the program, and be the coach to everyone. It’s a cost-effective way to get moving forward, with the added benefit of moving forward with supportive, like-minded people.

If you build it, I will come.

In the next six weeks, I’m going to a trade association, a law firm, a women’s group, a mom’s group at a church, and maybe to a hedge fund company, to give presentations and classes. Several survey respondents said they wished I had more in-person classes they could attend.

I’d love that, too.

Problem is — space. So, if you have space and would like to host a series of classes, let me know. I’d love to offer this kind of service.

And, speaking of service, in response to several of you, I’m offering a special package to help you prepare for job interviews or performance reviews. Quick, focused, to-the-point coaching sessions and you’ll walk into the meeting prepared for success. If you’re at the place where you want to have an edge that puts you over the top, this package may just be the thing for you. Call me.

I’m going to continue to offer book recommendations, because everyone seems to enjoy those. Even me! And you gave me some great insight into other blog topics you want to see. Know what the most popular topic is? Getting clear on priorities. I promise we’ll do work on that in the months to come.

One great suggestion that I’d also like to implement — you know I love connecting people to other people, to things or to ideas that help them solve their problems. So how about this nifty idea? If you have a product or a service that might be useful or interesting to other readers, let me know. I’m going to make that a new feature in upcoming newsletters.

So, lots of great changes as a result of your thoughtful input. I really appreciate the time you took and the generosity of spirit you each showed. Thanks to you, I can do more of what I’m good at — on terms that mean more to you.

Can’t get much better than that.

The best in life coach tips and useful suggestions to help you get the life you want to live.
Filed Under: Career Coaching Tagged With: , , , , 1 Comment

Living on the Contribution Side

February 22, 2009 By 1 Comment

On Friday, I had a little issue. Big wind storm. Cable out, internet out, phone out. Followed the maze of my provider’s complicated customer service system only to find out that the problem was not with them, but with me. Turns out I had a surge, knocking out the power to the main box.

OK. Called an electrical repair firm that has done work with me before. Asked if someone could come out that day to repair the problematic power outlet. Simple enough request, huh?

Uh-uh. No, the young receptionist quickly told me three different reasons why she didn’t want my business. One: “We don’t do anything with phones.” (You’re not listening. It’s not my phone, it’s a power outlet.) Two: “We don’t work in your area today.” (Your office is half a mile from my house.) And, Three, after I succinctly asked, “So, you’re telling me that there is no possible way to get someone out to my house today?”: “Well, you wouldn’t want to pay the emergency rate.” (Her tone said, “Only idiots would pay that.”)

Yes, as a matter of fact I am exactly the kind of idiot who will consider the emergency rate. Which was $97. About $30 more than a regular visit.

Worth it to me.

Maybe not worth it to her.

It’s that idea — “I wouldn’t, so why would you?” — that keeps us from opportunities. It reflects a lack of confidence, maybe. Or a lack of appreciation. Or it’s a self-esteem thing. Or a self-centeredness thing. Regardless, there’s a fear there, and it’s probably the fear of being told no.

If I say, “You wouldn’t want to…” and you end up taking my suggestion — why, you’re actually agreeing with me. Ha, ha! I win!

But I really lose. I lose a customer, I lose a job, I lose confidence.

I seem to be doing a lot of work these days prepping people for job interviews and performance appraisals. Imagine going into one of these settings and saying, “You wouldn’t want to hire me, would you?” Or, “You don’t want to promote me, do you?” But if you have the idea “I wouldn’t hire/promote me” in your mind, you utterly telegraph that losing message. And you don’t get hired, or promoted. You just stay stuck.

Yet this is how many people approach life. Negative rather than positive. Subtraction rather than contribution.

Let me tell you, living life on the contribution side — focusing solely on how you can help in the given situation — fundamentally shifts everything.

Can you imagine what it would have been like if that young receptionist had listened carefully and said, “Sounds like you need an electrician. Our regular appointments are all booked up today, but we have an emergency system that might just be perfect for you. It’s just $30 more for the first half hour, and I could send someone over after 4pm. How’s that sound?”

See how she might have made it easy for me? See how she could have told me how she could fix my problem, rather than focus on how she couldn’t?

It’s all a matter of attitude. And language that clearly states how you can help. How are you doing on that? If you find yourself living in the negative, come on over to the contribution side. It’s nice here.

Because when you live on the contribution side, you make it easy for people to work with you, and to like you. And to pay you. When you live on the contribution side, you are focusing on what can happen, rather than what can’t.

When you live on the contribution side, life becomes about opening rather than closing. And know what’s opening? It’s you. You’re opening to good things happening in your life. And you can start today by simply asking yourself how can you contribute. And then, go ahead and do it.

The best in life coach tips and useful suggestions to help you get the life you want to live.
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The Expectations Of Others

May 4, 2008 By Leave a Comment


Shannon does a great job at work. Everybody says so. Her performance reviews are always “Exceeds Expectations” and she’s been steadily promoted to a position of major responsibility.

So, why isn’t she happy? She’ll tell you she’s burned out. She has no personal life. She has no time. She can’t think. She forgets the birthdays of friends. She’s productive at work, but still very, very stuck in a life that doesn’t fit quite right.

What would she like? “I guess I would say, ‘Peace’ — time to hang with my friends. Time to maybe even have a boyfriend. Time to do quilting (which I love). Time to play with my nieces and nephews. Time to work out and get healthier. Time to do a really good job, too.”

What’s keeping her from that vision of a life? I ask her about her job and her eyes get glassy. “I work 10-12 hour days, probably six days a week,” she says. “But there’s always so much to do.”

Any way she could delegate, or get more staff to help?

She pauses. “Well, I could try that, but I’m afraid I won’t find anyone as committed as I am,” she says. “I have pretty high expectations for others.”

Hmmmn. I sense an avenue for exploration. I ask, “Shannon, what’s ‘success’ mean to you?”

After a bit of hemming, hawing, inner cheek chewing and stolen glances toward the ceiling, Shannon says, “Success is not disappointing others, I guess. When I’m successful, I’m meeting the expectations of others.”

“So,” I start. “Other people get to decide how successful Shannon will be, and you have do what they say? You have no role in that? Because that’s kinda what I hear you saying.”

Tears well in Shannon’s eyes. “I never thought about it that way,” she says quietly.

“You can have a life of your own design, Shannon. It is possible. But you have to figure out what’s most important to you and live by that, rather than accepting that assignment from others.”

We take a look at Shannon’s underlying fears and beliefs and began the process of eliminating and revising those that don’t fit with the life Shannon would like to live.

It comes down to that idea Shannon has — that success means meeting the expectations of others. Is there another way to cast that sentence in a way that allows Shannon to get the life she wants to live? After some poking and prodding, we come up with:

“I am successful when I meet my own expectations.”

Which is true. One of the best pieces of advice I ever received was from (shout out here) my friend Grey Terry. In a very difficult period of my life, Grey looked me in my perpetually red-rimmed eyes and said, “Michele, just do things today you can be proud of a year from now.”

It was in my power, then, to have the expectation that I would face a great challenge as a person of integrity, responsible and respectable, a person of honor. And have my actions flow from these values. As a result, there’s very little I regret having done from that time of my life. Which is quite nice.

Shannon came to see that she, too, has the power to make and set her own expectations for how she will be in the world — that she will make time for the things that nourish her whole life, such as relationships, interests, exercise and a healthy diet.

Attempting to live by the expectations of others merely held her back. Now, she feels free.

And you? How do you feel?

Filed Under: Authenticity, Career Coaching, Happier Living Tagged With: , , , , , Leave a Comment