The Flaw Of Attraction


The Law of Attraction gets a ton of buzz these days. The publishing/DVD juggernaut, The Secret has sold millions of copies, promising people that if they just ask for something, and really believe they’ll get it — why, they’ll most certainly get exactly what they want.

It’s so simple! So easy! And so flawed.

Indulge me a minute. I am going to ask for something that supports a passion I have nurtured for years — football. What I’d really like is to be a defensive lineman for the Washington Redskins.

Yup, me. A nearly 48 year old woman. A defensive lineman. Now, how plausible is it to think I can “manifest” getting that assignment?

You could argue that given the past couple of seasons the Redskins have had, perhaps a 48 year old woman could do a better job than what they’ve got…

But, honey, the truth is that big, muscley 48 year old dudes don’t play the line. They are too old. As to me, I would take the first hit and crumble into a pile of fractured bones and dislocated everything else. I’d boo-hoo like a little girl. If I lived.

So the Law of Attraction, applied to me getting a line position in the NFL, ain’t gonna happen,no matter how much I want it or how positive I am.

However, I can attract opportunities to support my passion for football. I can fully, shamelessly own that I am a football-loving woman. I could even create opportunities to attend more games. I’ll bet you I can even get invited to a box! Those are all plausible ways I can attract good things around my passion.

Which is what the Law of Attraction is all about. You can attract things into your life when you are consciously allowing what you want, rather than unconsciously rejecting them.

A few months ago I decided that I would hold the thought in my mind, “There will always be a parking place for me.” And, guess what? Now there is always a parking place for me, right in front of wherever I go. It’s weird. And fun.

There’s an old story that says the natives couldn’t see Columbus’ ship as it neared their island because they had no word for it in their vocabulary. For the natives, the ship simply did not exist.

I wonder if the Law of Attraction is like that. We create thoughts to support our goals, giving those thoughts names, and then we are able to see them. Maybe parking spots have always been available in front, but my thought was “There’s not going to be anyplace to park”, so I didn’t see what was right in front of my eyes.

A friend who says she wants a partner more than anything, and follows that thought with “but I’m 50 now and am reconciled to the idea that it’s probably not going to happen for me” is creating a situation where she can’t see the great men who are already there in her life. If she could shift her consciousness to “There is someone who will be a great partner to me, and I may already know him or will meet him soon”, my guess is that she’d find a great partner pretty quick.

I believe the Law of Attraction is about getting myself into alignment (clear about who I am and what I want, positive, open to new ideas and people, and honoring the authentic “me”) and then simply allowing what I need to flow to me.

I know this works. Because it’s the way I live. And some wonderful things flow into my life. People, opportunities, money, love and happiness. When organizing your life around attracting that which you need, every day is like unwrapping a lovely gift.

The Flaw of Attraction is the idea that anyone can get anything by just asking and believing. But the real Law of Attraction requires the hard work of self-awareness, and a shift from only seeing limits to seeing possibilities. Only then can you allow all the good things already in place around you to flow.

How To Get What You Want


Have you heard about The Secret? It’s a book developed from a movie – and it’s got incredible buzz. It’s sold 1.7 million copies since Thanksgiving. When it was featured on Oprah’s TV show February 8th of this year, viewers almost crashed her website seeking more information.

The idea behind The Secret is not a new one – I’m going to tell you The Secret right now, so stop reading if you don’t want to know it — it’s this: You can get anything you want. If you just ask and believe, you will receive.

This idea has been around since man first sparked flint against stone. Some people call it The Power of Positive Thinking, some people call it Cosmic Ordering, some people call it Intention Setting, some call it the Attractor Factor, and some folks just call it prayer. The gist is that you can draw positive things to you by your intention and attitude.

The people behind The Secret are truly marketing geniuses – they’ve reworked an ancient idea and made it a multi-million dollar fad. But I’m afraid some folks using The Secret are going to be disappointed.

Because it’s not just the asking that’s important. You have to know why you’re asking in the first place.

I have to disclose that I believe strongly in the power of visualization, intention setting and attracting what you want. In fact, I do it regularly. And it works. My method is a little different from The Secret, and I’ll share it with you now. It won’t cost you a nickel.

Michele’s Secret: just Center, Seek, Visualize, Request, continue to Visualize, and you will Receive.

So, first, you have to find your Center. That means you have to get in the place where you do your best, clearest thinking. For some, it may be a quiet meditative spot. Some may find taking a brisk walk or a run conducive to thought. Others might choose the perennial favorite, the shower (as in “I do my best thinking in the shower!”). Some people find Zen in folding laundry. Whatever. Just get yourself clear and focused.

Then, Seek. The Seeking phase is where you ask yourself “What do I want?” For me, this question has two parts: “What do I want more of that I already have?” and, “What do I want that I don’t have?”

Let’s say you Center and Seek and come up with: I want a Mercedes-Benz. If you stop right there and ask the Universe for a Mercedes-Benz, I have to tell you – you’re probably not going to get it. Before you Request, you have to know why you want a Mercedes.

If you answer, “I want a Mercedes because then everyone will know I’m rich and can afford a car like that”, then you are coming from a place of ego and the Universe doesn’t reward ego-based desires. Sorry. An intention that can only be fulfilled by hurting someone else is likewise a no go. So no intentions around your ex getting hit by falling space debris. Bummer.

If you pursue the idea “If I have a Mercedes, everyone will know I’m rich” down to the core, you might find that what you seek is affirmation – and that’s what you truly need to attend to. The car is just a dodge from the real problem.

However, if when you Seek you come up with, “I want a Mercedes because they are well-built vehicles and a ton of fun to drive,” then that is a pure intention. How do you know it’s pure? Simple. If the result you desire is just for you, doesn’t harm anyone and doesn’t involve any other person’s perception of you, then you aren’t coming from ego.

And don’t think you can say one thing and really mean another – the key to this whole deal is aligning your intention at your deepest level of mind and spirit. An ego-based intention, even if it’s unspoken, will never get you what you want.

After you Center and Seek, you Visualize. We know visualization works in sports, we know it works in business. It also works in regular old life. So, Visualize sitting in your Mercedes. What’s the seat feel like? How is the steering wheel under your fingers? What’s the engine sound like?At this point, I also ask myself, “What do I need to attract into my life to get this?” If you want that Mercedes, you may have to attract reasonable financing, or a windfall, or a pay boost. If you want deep meaningful intimate relationships, you may need to attract thoughtful, open and loving people into your life.

Then, you Request. When I Request, I usually write it down. I express gratitude for what I have, and ask for what I want. In my case, I am asking God – and you can ask God, too, however you happen to perceive God. You can also release your desire to the Universe, to nothingness, to your guardian angel, to Jackie Chan. Whatever organizes the world for you.

After you Request, you keep Visualizing what it will be like to get what you want. You hold that powerful visualization in your mind and you keep touching base with it, throughout the days and weeks to come.

And, believe it or not, you will Receive what you want..

“Pshaw.” That’s what I hear a reader from Pennsylvania saying. “What a bunch of hooey.”

OK, I can prove this works. On Tuesday, February 20, 2007, I did this exercise. I came up with four things I want in my life. I will share two of them. I asked for support of my financial goals by sending me clients who I can help. I also asked for help expressing myself through my writing and speaking.

By the time I went to bed on Wednesday, February 21, 2007, I had: three new clients; two clients who paid me for work done in December and January; one new speaking engagement; and, four good leads on publishing.

Coincidence? Maybe. But it sure as shootin’ happened. And it’s not the first time. Center, Seek, Visualize, Request, continue to Visualize and, then, you will Receive.

Exciting, isn’t it? What would happen if you gave it a try? What would happen if you actually asked for what you want?

Why you just might get it.