Easy Sledding


Imagine your brain as if it’s a sledding hill. When you arrive, it’s a pristine, untouched landscape of clean, white snow. Take your first trip down the hill and you leave an imprint of the path your sled has traveled. As the day progresses you see multiple tracks in the snow — but one or two seem to be more frequently used than others.

This is exactly how you learn. This is how habits — good and bad — are formed. This is how thoughts and ideas are entrenched in your mind. Paths are formed in your brain — use that path over and over and you reinforce behaviors, habits and thoughts.

The snowy hill metaphor comes from Dr. Alvaro Pascual-Leone, associate professor in neurology at Harvard Medical School. Pascual-Leone’s ground-breaking work is profiled in The Brain That Changes Itself by Norman Doidge. And, Doidge shows, the cool thing about your brain is that when a path is blocked in some way — by injury or illness — the brain can re-wire itself to take an adjacent path to get where it needs to go.

Experiments have shown just how amazing and malleable our brains are. Consider the puzzle of “phantom limbs” — extremities amputated but still registering as “present” in the brain. It’s as if the communication between the limb and the brain still exists. Why? Because the neural pathways continue to exist! Doidge details an experiment using a mirror box that fools the brain into “seeing” a whole limb in the place of a missing limb. Once the brain registers “oh, there’s that hand!”, the phantom limb — with its phantom pain, itch, gestures — disappears. The brain has taken another path.

Using this new understanding, cutting-edge methods have been developed to help stroke victims learn to re-wire their brain by forging new neural pathways, bypassing damaged areas to regain movement and use of affected parts of their bodies.

Children with attention deficit disorders or learning disabilities are forging new ways of using their brains to overcome their hurdles. Using specific drills and techniques, attention improves and learning increases. Even with autistic children.

All this research confirms what so many of us have been talking about — that you can change your thoughts and change your life.

Take a look at your most hard-wired thoughts. A person who defaults to telling “un-truths” might be operating with an operating thought like: “She’ll get mad when I tell her the truth”. Chronic lying reinforces a certain neural pathway — a pretty stressful one, to boot. What if the lie is found out? If the underlying thought changes to: “She may get mad when I tell the truth, but I can deal with mad”, the established pathway is bypassed in favor of a new one — one that is more positive and less stressful.

If your underlying thought is: “I’m not good enough”, you might find yourself depressed, hesitant, lonely, unfulfilled and sad. Changing your thought to “I’m good enough”, by examining the roots of the negative thought creates a new neural pathway, and a happier life.

Now, perhaps this sounds too much like Stuart Smalley and his twee affirmations: “I’m Good Enough, I’m Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me!” OK. Got it. But research has shown that creating new thoughts around what you’d like to be or visualizations around how you’d like to act create new ways for the brain to function. So, there’s something there we need to take seriously.

And it’s this: you are not your thoughts. If your thoughts are not working for you — creating a positive, abundant attitude — you can change them. You can overcome your self-imposed limits by working on shifting that which you think you know about yourself and the world. You can re-wire your brain.

All you have to do is point your sled toward another path. And enjoy the ride, baby.

Fear Itself


Every once in a while there’s that confluence of stuff that comes together in your life and you see things so much more clearly. It’s a perfect storm of change.

And that happened for me this week.

First, I heard that writer Marianne Williamson is hosting a year-long audio class on The Course in Miracles on Oprah.com, so I clicked over and checked it out. This will tell you a lot about me — the course is designed so that you listen to a daily message, then reflect and do exercises. You are to do one lesson daily. Only one, no more.

Of course, I listened to nine lessons the first day. Then skipped over to lesson 48. Then back to lesson 11. What can I say? I’m curious.

Then, the thoughtful, sensible writer-coach Cheryl Richardson recommended a movie called “You Can Heal Your Life”, so I watched that online. The film, based on the work of Louise Hay, explores the power of thoughts. Like the course Marianne Williamson is teaching, the overarching idea is that your thoughts create your reality — but your thoughts are not always based in what’s happening now. They are often reactions to what’s happened in the past.

I know all this stuff. See, I do personal development work for a living. All day, everyday, I challenge people to look at things in new ways and to try new things. And every assignment I ever give a client is something I’ve done myself. So, given all that, I was pretty confident (smug) of my own enlightenment.

At some point as the film rolled, I realized my jaw was hanging open and I hastily grabbed a pencil stub and the back side of someone’s homework and began taking notes.

And as my mind exploded, I wrote these questions:

  • What do I complain about most?
  • When are things uncomfortable for me?
  • What do I resent?
  • Where is my thinking not helping me?

Great questions, huh? Willing to answer them yourself?

Because when you do, you will see something really important and useful.

The root of most of our unhappy thoughts is fear. Fear that we’re not good enough. Fear that we won’t have enough. Fear that we’ll be abandoned. Fear that we’ll literally or figuratively die.

When I looked at where my thinking was not helping me, I laughed out loud. Wanna know why? Next month I’m going on a trip with my kids. A trip which will require bathing suits and shorts. I absolutely convinced myself that due to a period of relative inactivity (hey! I hurt my ankle!) I am so fat that none of last year’s summer clothes would possibly fit. In fact, it was likely I’d have to trade those size 10s for, oh, size 18s. If I dieted.

So, yesterday when no one was home but me, I took a deep breath and tried on last year’s shorts. Amazingly, they fit. Like a little gopher popping out of her hole, I sat up and took notice. Feeling brave, I pulled the swimsuits out of their hiding place under an old bathrobe. In front of a full length mirror, ladies, I tried them on.

They fit, too.

It was only my thoughts about my body that had created an environment where I felt plain bad about myself. The reality was something much different.

And at the bottom of it was our old friend, fear. Fear of being flabby. Fear of being less than. Fear of not being good enough. Maybe fear of getting older. The sweet spot to explore is this: why was that fear working for me? Because it must have been working on some level, or I wouldn’t have held on to it.

When you objectively look at your thoughts and completely understand where they come from, then and only then can you change them into something more inspiring, more embracing, more…true.

Who would you allow yourself to be if you had no fear? A nearly 48 year old woman in a bikini, perhaps? Hey, to paraphrase Franklin Roosevelt, all you have to fear is your thoughts, themselves.