You are here: Home / Archives for workplace issues

“Is It Fun?”

January 29, 2012 By Leave a Comment

 

A few months ago, I made a commitment to myself to start doing the Washington Post crossword every morning. I thought it would be good for my brain, and to up the ante, I made a few rules.

You know me: Michele Woodward, Rules Girl [when you know the rules, you also know how to bend them. I am just saying.]. Here are my crossword puzzle rules:

Rule 1:  Use only pen.

Rule 2:  Take only 15 minutes.

Rule 3:  If I’m not done in 15 minutes, drop it.

Five times out of six, I complete the puzzle under the rules. Which is surprisingly fulfilling. Ups my general Happy Quotient, if you want to know the truth.

And, there are one or two things I have learned from this exercise:

A. My intuition about a word is almost always right (except the other day, when the clue was “John Paul II, e.g.”  I wrote “POPE” when the answer turned out to be “POLE”. Ah, well.)

B. Sometimes an Across word is best solved by looking at the Down words that make it up

C. Challenges can be fun

That’s right, fun.  Look at me – I used the f-word.

Maybe you were raised with that wonderful work ethic that says “anything worth doing has to be hard”, which leads quite handily toward “work is hard, fun is frivolous; ergo, no fun for you, bucko”.

So you equate fun with anything but work.

Fun is tubing down the river with a cooler of beer trailing behind you.

Fun is a yo-yo tournament.

Fun is running a marathon (except for that pesky mile 21 where everything gets a little wobbly and you wonder where the fun is. The fun comes at mile 26.375, baby).

Work is a grind. Work is hyper-competitive. Work is eat-what-you-kill, dog-eat-dog, scarcity thinking writ large.

Fun and work, therefore, can never be equal.

But maybe think about it this way: work is just a challenge.

And crossword puzzles are challenges, right?

And some challenges can be fun and rewarding, and even fulfilling.

Especially if you know the rules and work within them. Kinda.

So, if my math is right, work can be fun and fulfilling if you turn the grind into a a kind of game, and you create some rules for yourself – rules you stick to.

[You may have heard of this idea of rules before. We also call these "boundaries".]

Such as:  “I will not work on weekends.”

“I won’t waste a minute in malicious office gossip.”

“If something doesn’t go my way, I will drop it and move on rather than obsess, stew and fret.”

These are just some of mine. Just like using a pen to complete the crossword in less than 15 minutes.

You have a choice, too. You can make your own rules.

Really.

Start by asking yourself, “Is this thing I’m doing fun?” And if the answer is no, then figure out a way to make it fun. Make it a game.

Your game.

And I’m thinking you’re going to win because you made up the rules.

You winner, you.

 

Filed Under: Authenticity, Blog, Career Coaching, Clarity Tagged With: , , , , , , Leave a Comment

Listen

January 8, 2012 By 6 Comments

 

I believe that listening well is the greatest honor you can pay another person.

When you listen, you tell another person that you value them. That you respect them. That they matter.

And if you are someone who needs to work with other people to get things done, then there is no better way to lead than to listen.

This is true in the workplace, and it’s true with toddlers.

I imagine you’ve heard of Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, haven’t you? Probably no surprise to you – I only really like two and a half of the habits.

The one I half-like is “Sharpen The Saw”, which in principle – to continually learn – I am totally on board with. “Sharpen” and “Saw” strike me as a little too chest-thumping lumberjacky macho macho.

That being said, another I really like is “Start With The End In Mind”, which is all about vision – vitally important.

But the best habit is: “Seek First to Understand, Then To Be Understood” which is a succinct endorsement of the power of listening.

Listen first, understand what the other person is saying, and then say what you need to say.

Sounds easy.  Can sometimes be hard.

Let’s make it easier with just a few tips:

  1. Turn off the phone
  2. Stop texting
  3. Do not check your email
  4. Move to another room if you can’t pretend the game is not on
  5. Let the other person have uninterrupted space to say what needs to be said
  6. Make eye contact
  7. Repeat or rephrase what you’ve heard – this is called “Active Listening”
  8. Ask if you’ve understood their point or argument
  9. Clarify as needed
  10. Now, say what you want to say -without judgment and ego

It’s that last bit that makes most of us grind our teeth. Having a staff person tell you what’s wrong with the roll-out may feel like a challenge to your expertise or planning skills or authority, but unless you’re Steve Jobs you might want to listen in case the kid has a point. Could save you some time and money. And maybe even guarantee the success you’re aiming for.

Plus, that kid could end up being the next Steve Jobs – wouldn’t it be cool to have been his mentor?

Even if the listening you’re doing is with your child who is telling you something you’d rather not hear – and, trust me, if you have a teenager this happens frequently – separating what is being said from your own ego is key to building a stronger relationship.

Which is the point, right?

In this fast-paced, go-go-go, multi-media, multi-input, multi-stimulus world, taking time out of time to really listen can shift a relationship from superficial to rich. And results from ho-hum to amazing.

Real, connected listening builds respect, which – in my opinion – we could use a lot more of in this world of ours.

So, ready?  It’s time to listen up.

 

 

Filed Under: Authenticity, Career Coaching, Getting Unstuck, Happier Living Tagged With: , , , , , 6 Comments

Be It Resolved

December 31, 2011 By 2 Comments

 

WHEREAS, 2011 was a bad year for tyrants, terrorists and repressive regimes around the world; and,

WHEREAS, sometimes offices and workplace settings can mimic authoritative empires; and,

WHEREAS, the world of work has radically changed, making it even more important for you to see yourself as fully in charge of your career and future; and,

WHEREAS, the thing that has often challenged you is being a good enough advocate for yourself; and,

WHEREAS, you might also just be a little bit of a people-pleaser, which only means something you learned at one time in your life no longer suits you at this point; and,

WHEREAS, breaking a life-long habit can be a big challenge; and,

WHEREAS, you know breaking that habit is the only way to get ahead and live the life you envision; and,

WHEREAS, surprisingly enough, you can easily get all the help and support you need to make this change simply by asking people you trust to give you a hand,

NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED, that you will begin to shift your situation by taking small steps to learn be the self-mentor, self-advocate, self-champion you need to be

  1. You will say no, and
  2. You will honor your own preferences and assert them appropriately, and
  3. You will take the risks required to grow, even if they feel way too big, and
  4. You will not be afraid to be a person of integrity and authenticity, and
  5. You will find that by doing so you will actively move to reduce your stress, and
  6. You will stop feeling like you continually lose.

BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED, that you will stand up to office bullies and authoritarian tyrants, armed with integrity, confidence, candor and focus, thereby giving yourself the relief you deserve, and the kind of life you want.

RATIFIED BY UNANIMOUS CONSENT this 1st day of January, 2012.

[Your signature here]

 

 

 

Filed Under: Career Coaching, Clarity, Happier Living Tagged With: , , , , , , , 2 Comments

Small Change.

November 6, 2011 By Leave a Comment

 


I know what you want.

You want to contribute in a positive way.

You want what you do to really matter.

You want the flexibility to make your own decisions.

You want to work with people who are fun, smart, kind and fair.

You want to make a good living.

You want to be enthusiastic about your day.

You want to be creative, in your own way.

You want to be able to shut off work enough that you can deeply connect with those you love.

(Or find more people to love.)

You want to make a difference.

And, know what?  I know you can do it.

There’s just a little assignment for you first:

I believe, deep in your core, you know what needs to move out of the way so you can get what you want.

I know you know what I’m talking about. It just popped into your mind, didn’t it?  Might feel scary.  Might feel big. Might feel like you have to move to a new place, or to a new job, or a new relationship just to get what you want.

And the prospect of the big, life-shifting change is exactly what’s kept you stuck.

What if I told you that rather than huge, shattering change, you might only have to make the smallest change?  Just one small change to make a big impact?

Like:

Negative self-talk shifts to positive self talk which yields a better perspective on what’s possible.

Allowing other people’s problems to remain their problems conserves your energy.

Clearly stating your goals and objectives creates an opening to serve them.

You can do that, can’t you?

Because penny by penny and dime by dime, over time small change – added every day to a big jar – turns into a large sum of cash.

And that’s how you get what you want.

 

Filed Under: Blog, Career Coaching, Happier Living, Managing Change Tagged With: , , , Leave a Comment

Content of Character

June 26, 2011 By 1 Comment




I’ve been exploring.

For the past couple of months, I’ve been taking a hard look at why so many of my clients complain about the exact same thing.

Want to guess what it is?  Taxes?  Spouses?  The price of gasoline?

Good guesses, but… no.

The single most common thing my clients complain about is a toxic work environment.

And this toxic work environment most often features some kind of challenged leadership.

Mark tells me a story. He says, “The company is doing some more belt tightening. It’s been announced that everyone must fly coach on business travel, even if you’re flying international.” He stops for a moment, shaking his head. “Except, of course, for the CEO and the Board Chair – those guys wouldn’t fly coach from New York to Boston.”

We go on to discuss his exit strategy.

Mark’s not leaving just because of the travel policy. No, that little piece of information is the last of many straws which makes Mark aware that the company has a deep set of ethical issues – ethics which contrast sharply with Mark’s own character and beliefs.

And it all boils down to this – Mark’s CEO believes the rules don’t apply to him.

If only Mark’s CEO understood the essence of great leadership: the rules apply even more when you’re leading.

Applying this to yourself, you might wiggle out the responsibility to be ethical by saying, “Oh, I’m no leader.”  But I see leaders everywhere.  Business owners, CEOs and full-time moms. They’re teachers, cashiers and Congressmen. Taxi drivers, postal carriers and starlets.

They’re you, they’re me, they’re standing right next to you in line at Starbucks.

Like it or not, we’re all leaders, one way or the other.

And leading by example is the most powerful leadership tactic any of us can employ. Want cost-cutting? Cut your own costs first. Want increased collaboration? Get out of the bunker. Want innovation? Foster it. Want solutions? Offer them. Want better communication? Listen, then speak.

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. had a dream.  He dreamed that his “four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”

Seems to me like right now the world could use a little ethical realignment.  Right now we could use some integrity.  Right now is the perfect moment to take the measure of the content of your own character.

Do you mean what you say?

Are you reliable?

Are you hypocritical in any area of your life?

Do you give what you want to get?

Are you open to the ideas of other people?

Do the rules apply to you?

If so, then great.

If not, it’s not too late – you can start today. Hey, you can start right now.

Start by adding to the content of your own character.

Each decision you make – hold it up to the light. Do you feel good about it? Does it add to your character? Does it create good?

Step by step, grow your ethical standards.

Step by step, make the world a better place.

Step by step, you can be proud of who you are.

Filed Under: Authenticity, Career Coaching, Clarity Tagged With: , , , , , 1 Comment
« Older Posts